In our earliest efforts at D/s life, spankings often happened with my hands restrained over my head – there was actually a hook in the wall specifically for that purpose. In the beginning, I ended up feeling like his spanking lacked energy and enthusiasm. When he tried to adjust that, he ended up just whaling on me, which I also didn’t like.

In our second iteration a few years ago, he pretty much started whaling on me right away. I tolerated it, but he was afraid he was hurting me and I didn’t feel the deep connection or satisfaction or whatever it is that I get out of a good spanking. I knew that something was missing, but couldn’t articulate what, and didn’t want to top from the bottom, and neither of us did well communicating, and it all just ended with a whimper.

This time, the world has changed, Sir has changed, and it’s a very different experience. Oh, I guess I’ve changed too.

Sir has always been a fan of learning from videos. But he is taking that kind of learning to a new level these days. He’s been watching all kinds of BDSM videos, mostly with content to teach. Many of them are done by sex coaches or sex therapists, who may be submissive or dominant themselves, but who clearly share a passion for helping people explore their desires.

He said he’d been watching some videos on how to spank, and I could really tell in our session last night. He wasn’t just whaling away on me with different implements trying to make sure I got to the limits of my pain tolerance or make sure he left marks. Instead – don’t laugh – he played me like a drum.

Seriously. You don’t just hit a drum as hard as you can without breaking it and hope it sounds good. No, you use drumsticks or brushes or your hand in different rhythms with different emphasis and make music. It was lovely.

Anyhow. I’ve also experienced my first punishment – which was not spanking related. He says he has no intention of using spanking as a punishment, but what he came up with is enough to make me think twice about not doing what I’m told to do. Maybe I’ll talk about that in another post.

And it’s time to start the next part of my day. That is still flowing well, and I feel myself unwinding from the pressure I had been putting on myself. It’s all flows together in feeling good…