You can call me Just-A-Bit-Grumpy today – a little out of sorts for who knows what reason. But it comes and goes (like waves in the ocean.) One minute I’m feeling all growly and the next I think all smiles and everything’s lovely. Shrug. Whate -ev-er.
My step count average this week = 5,059. My weight is still hovering around 160. My life is still not organized (this should not be a shock to anyone.)
I only got about 4 1/2 hours sleep last night, so I’m a bit groggy too. Going to try to take a nap in a few minutes.
I was going to add some quotes from Mary Oliver, since she died yesterday, but I’m too sleepy. Back later…
It is what it is… I just keep inching forward, and sliding back, over and over and over. One step forward and two steps back. AND I had no idea there was a song called that. Here it is.
Or Bruce Springstein with One Step Up (and two steps back.)
So I’m not doing all the things as well as I wanted to. But the sun is shining and life is good – hope it is for you too…
In 2019, I want to continue my journey toward being a crone.
Except for the part about being adored. That would feel weird, at best.
But I need a circle of support, I need to be part of a group.
And I am building that. I have y’all here, and you are close to my heart. I’m making friends and circles of support with the other people in my coach training program. But I want something more. Maybe I need to find a wiccan circle?
I’m going to a WordPress meet-up later this month, and that should be interesting. Also, they can (maybe) teach me how to make the alt text for images work. Currently I just put it at the bottom of the post (see below.)
Anyhow. Who do you connect with most deeply? Do you have a group of people who know each other that you rely on? Individual friends that each connect to you, like spokes on a wheel? One or two friends and your partner/spouse? What is your world like?
Image description: 1. Woman with purple hair streaming back from her face, gold background. “A Crone has earned that title! She offers sage advice & tested wisdom; She is secure in her skin, soul, and self. She shares her knowledge freely. She is beautiful. She is trustworthy. She is my friend. I adore her and rely on her.”
2. Group of 5 women in diverse bright colors gathered around a fire, seated and bending forward.
Here we go – let the good times begin! My new year is off to an auspicous beginning.
First of all, steps. My average for the week is – drum roll – 7,013!! My goal has been 7,000 for a long time, but I think this is the first time I’ve actually hit it. My high was 10,566 on January 1, which was a beach day. My low was 4,067 yesterday, when I spent 12 hours hunched over my computer.
I started a 30-Day Yoga challenge and have completed the first two days. One of the women who’s in my coaching program started a group for us, and I got my daughter to agree to do it with me. If you didn’t know me, you might think I was real into yoga, because I’m quick to talk about the benefits – but not from experience. This is the first time I’ve actually done yoga. So far so good…
But this is NOT me:
In other news, I’m also doing a mindfulness challenge that another friend invited me to. It starts on the 7th and I think it’s going to be something I can do. We’ll see.
I’m not setting goals anymore. I’m going with intentions instead. I know, that’s become a buzzword, and maybe it’s silly, but it seems to be working better for me. I’ve begun to start my day with the Prayer to the Six Directions, which I’ve been thinking about for a while. There are lots of versions of it, but the one I’m using goes like this:
Prayer to the Six Directions
Oh Spirit of the East, Land of the rising Sun, Of Air, the winds that blow across the lands. Of new beginnings each day. and of open horizons. We bless you and ask for your wisdom and blessing here with us today. Please join us, Spirit of the East. Oh Spirit of the South, Place of Passion, Fire and Creation and inspiration, whose warm breath reminds us of summer days. Ignite our hearts with love. We bless you and ask for your wisdom and blessing here with us today. Please join us, Spirit of the South. Oh Spirit of the West, the land of the setting Sun, Of water and Autumn’s whisper. Bless us with the knowledge of peace which follows the harvest of a fruitful life. We bless you and ask for your wisdom and blessing here today. Please join us, Spirit of the West. Oh Spirit of the North, place of quiet, stillness, of cave and deep earth. Place of thankfulness for the knowledge and blessings that have come to us with time. We bless you and ask your wisdom and blessing here today. Please join us, Spirit of the North. Oh Spirit of Mother Earth, you support us each day, welcoming our roots deep into your heart. You nurture and guide us finding sustenance and support. help us to give thanks Always for Your bounty. We bless you and ask for your wisdom and blessing here today. Please join us Spirit of Mother Earth. Oh Spirit of Father Sky, of the angelic realms, the countless stars of the night remind us that you are vast beautiful and majestic beyond all of our knowing or understanding. Your light shines upon the earth both day and night guiding our steps. We bless you and ask for your wisdom and blessing here today. Please join us, Father Sky. Oh Spirit of our souls within, Place of union, love and reverence. We are grateful for this gift of life and for the love that guides our way. We open our hearts and join with all in love. It is begun.
I turn in each direction as I pray (I used the compass on my phone to find the direction!) I touch the ground for Mother Earth, raise my arms for Father Sky, and put my hand on my heart for the “souls within” part. We have a big privacy fence in our backyard, so when it’s warm, I go outside to do it.
I haven’t done it every day since I started, but I’m ok with that. It’s not a goal I’ve failed to meet, it’s just a plan that doesn’t necessarily work out every day. We’ll see how this goes…
I’ve done Qi-gong a few days too. I use this video: https://youtu.be/cwlvTcWR3Gs and am really liking it. Let me know what you think if you try it!
Ok, so Happy New Year to all of you – ready for another exciting year that may bring who-knows-what!
“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there’s a big disappointment, we don’t know if that’s the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don’t know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don’t know.” — Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
A grey day at the beach
Not exactly a sunny day at the beach, but it’s 70°, and I can live with that. I can feel myself settling and becoming more centered as I sit here. It’s lovely.
The other night, I felt a sudden sense of sadness. It was kind of odd, something happened that upset me, and while I was thinking about that, it was as if I were enveloped in sadness. But it didn’t feel completely bad. It just felt like I was deeply sad.
I know, that sounds crazy, doesn’t it? But I find myself remembering it and somehow feeling good about it. Which is also very strange. But the sad feeling passed and today, life is good. Super good.
It’s been almost a year since I started this adventure. That’s amazing. I started in February – I was late getting with the program. And I’m so glad I did. (Yay for Fondles and thank you for getting me focused!)
I started with these goals:
Eat less
Use my stupid Fitbit to count calories
Reduce carbs and sugar. Cut the obvious ones. Pasta. Ice Cream.
Eat 3 meals and 1 snack per day – no more.
Move more
Pay attention to my stupid Fitbit when it tells me to move to get my 250 steps/hr (when possible.)
Do some kind of yoga once a week. Use the gift certificate I have for 3 free yoga classes
Do some kind of dance once a week
Do a walking video twice a week
Spend 20-30 minutes organizing stuff at least 4 day/week
At least twice a week, do one of the many things on my to-do list that I’ve been putting off doing.
It was a good starting place. I quit counting calories when I went full-on low carb (not keto, just low carb.) And I’ve definitely moved more, but not like I planned to. Didn’t do the yoga class. Didn’t dance once a week. Lots of didn’t’s there
I didn’t meet my goal for organizing, but I did pack and unpack my entire house, so that should be worth something. Well, mostly unpack. There might be a few more boxes in the garage… And I’m still working it on it.
My to-do list is always a work in process. Or progress. Is it work in process or progress? I’ve been wondering about that for a while. Hmmmm, the internet has lots of nuance about it – well, some nuance anyhow. It seems that work in process means the work is happening now, with an end in sight. Work in progress is long term with no visible ending. That’s me, for sure. My to-do list is both a work in process and in progress, so there’s that.
I’ll have some goals for the New Year next week. For now – this week:
Step count average: 5,869. That’s an improvement over last week, but not where I want to be. Still. I’ll take my improvements where I can get them.
In other news, I got a surprising email. If you’ve been reading here practically forever, you may remember long ago that Sir and I played with the idea of playing with another Dom. We got as far as emailing and setting a tentative date for dinner, which we had to break. Anyhow – that was back in September of 2016. A couple of days ago, I got an email from him.
He said: If you would ever be interested in meeting up, get back with me. We almost met up and our schedules got crossed, somehow. A long time ago.
Which made me laugh out loud. He does not even say “Hi.” Not so much as a “How are you?” Silly man. Even if we hadn’t moved far away a few months later, it seems unlikely that I’m going to want to connect with someone quite so – thoughtless? shallow? socially inept? Whatever. No, thank you.
I did respond though, cause that’s what I do, and told him we’d moved and to reach out if he ever got down here. He said he’d been to Our City before and it was a nice place to visit. And that’s the end of that, but it just made me laugh.
The holidays must make people nostalgic because I also got a message from one guy I’d been talking to on Fet – not the one I almost connected with, the other one. The one who’s married, looking for someone on the side. He didn’t have much to say (well, not now and not ever, really) but just dropped in for a minute. Figuratively speaking. He does at least ask how I’m doing and so on, which is still a pretty low bar for social niceties, but better than Mr. “Let’s meet up.”
And that’s the news for today – oh, ugh, except for the scale, which is at 159. Ok, 159.2. But I plan to lose 4-5 pounds over the next 10 days. Quit laughing. They’re new pounds, at least 2 of them are, I can do this. I am not going to finish the box of bourbon balls I got for Xmas (Woodford Reserve Bourbon Balls) or the ice cream in the freezer, and that will be a good beginning. So there.
“The Road goes ever on and on Down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, And I must follow, if I can, Pursuing it with eager feet, Until it joins some larger way Where many paths and errands meet. And whither then? I cannot say” ~ J.R.R.Tolkien
