A Random Post

Disclaimer:  This is a random post that doesn’t have anything to do with anything anyone else has posted.

One of the things I notice at the holidays is how hard it is when you don’t have money.  Actually it’s hard anytime.  We judge people based on financial factors. in all kinds of ways. 

I’m really lucky because I haven’t been in any real financial strain for quite a while, but I’m have more financial insecurity right now than I have in a while.  Plus, I have really struggled at times, so I know what it’s like.  There were times that I didn’t have a budget because I knew I didn’t actually make enough money to live on, so I knew I couldn’t come up with a budget I could live by so there wasn’t any point in making one.  

But I learned some really important things.  I learned that there are huge penalties for being poor.  Whether it’s late charges on bills or paying higher car insurance based on zip code, we are punished for being poor.   I could rant about how wrong this is, but not right now.

I learned that get we judged for not having money. We have a belief in this country that if you work hard you’ll succeed (financially.)  So if you’re not successful (financially), then you must not be working hard, or you must be doing something wrong.  That’s a big ole lie, but we like to believe it.  Because if it were true, then wealth would be merited and only lazy people would be poor.

Let me say it again.  That is a huge lie.  Most of us – myself included – are one serious medical illness away from bankruptcy.  But it is so profoundly embedded in our culture that there is something wrong with you if you’re not doing well financially that lots of hard-working people, who really know better, still carry a bunch of shame around that. 

THEN, because we pay lip service to the idea that money’s not important, those same people feel bad for feeling that way.

Do you hear that?  I’m feeling bad about not having money, and then I’m judging myself for feeling bad about not having money, like it’s not perfectly natural to feel that way.   When how I feel is perfectly justified and clearly the result of a materialistic world view of a capitalist society. 

And that’s the only part of this I really want to address.  If you are beating yourself up for feeling bad about not having money, please stop it.  Please be more compassionate with yourself.  What you’re doing is really, really hard.  It’s ok to acknowledge that.

That’s all.


A New Goal

Just popping in to say – I have a new goal.  I’m going to write this story living in my head, and I’m going to do it by writing at least 1,000 words every week until it’s done.

Now – those of you who have done that November Na-No-Wri-Mo thing are free to sneer at the idea of 1,000 words a week.  Granted, it’s a low bar.  At that rate, it will take the better part of a year for me to write a novella, which is my goal.  So be it.

I’m gonna do it.  I’m going to add it to my FFF check-in.  And I’m gonna do it.

FFF 12-7

It’s Friday!  Yay!  Although – I have class all weekend.  So it’s not like I’m going into a celebratory weekend.  But still.

AND here’s some good news – my 7 day average for steps is 6,219!  That’s almost at my goal of 7,000, so all I have to do now is keep up the good work!  (Ok, easier said than done.  But theoretically…)

My daughter and I have started going to the gym together, which helps immensely.  Apparently neither one of us will do it on our own, but together, we make it happen.  So that’s cool.

I am not making my fortune in my coaching business yet, but that’s ok.  It’ll happen.  I think.  I hope.  Fingers crossed…

I haven’t gotten on the scale in a while, which is possibly a mistake.  Well, I say in a while – probably a week ago.  I was still hitting 157 at that point, so we’ll see.  Hoping I can head down again.  I think I’ll set a goal.  150 by – by March.  By the end of March.  That’s totally realistic.

Date night has still been happening pretty regularly around here.  When it doesn’t, it’s been my fault.  I was sick forever, it seemed like.  Then this week I’ve got class, which is isn’t over til 7 p.m. and is exhausting.  (And you know I’ m pretty much an in-bed-by-9 kind of girl.)

We’ve had some fun dinners out though and that’s been nice.  There haven’t been any spankings since the one I asked for.  And honestly, I don’t think he’s going to initiate any.  I think he’ll be glad to oblige me if I ask, but I don’t think he’s going to pursue any kind of dominance.

Sigh.

I’m actually pretty ok with that for the moment though.  Not sure why.  Maybe that post-menopausal lack of desire has finally kicked in for me?  Anyhow, for whatever reason, I don’t need to go looking for problems.  I guess I will coast along and play it by ear.  We are connecting better in terms of spending time together, so there’s that.  Maybe that’s all I needed.

 Hope your holiday season is going well!!



FFF 11-30 – on Saturday, 12-1

I’ve been sick, still, for a whole ‘nother week,.  I finally called my doctor back and told her I was getting worse rather than better.  I had managed to keep working, but she felt tired and crappy.  She prescribed some antibiotics, which is apparently what I needed. 

Anyhow, I left the house yesterday for the first time, which was super exciting, and I met my step goal for the first time in ages.  So you can imagine how bad my average is.  Ok, my average is 3,200, but that includes yesterday’s total of 8,370.  I can tell when I was feeling my worst – last Sunday and Monday with 1,200 and 1,600 step counts.  I start doing better on Tuesday – right after I started the antibiotics.  So yay for me. 

Anyhow.  I haven’t even weighed myself in a while, so there’s that.  And this is now, possibly, the most boring blog ever.   Is there a contest for that?   Maybe not, but there are lots of images…


Well.  I guess you get the idea.  At least it’s a boring in a couple of different medias!!

Don’t forget COOKIES are coming soon!!  Stay tuned – December 5 is next Wednesday -yummy deliciousness ahead!!


Cookies!!

The Great Online Cookie Exchange Extravaganza Turns Eight!

It’s back!  Jz’s famous cookie exchange!  It’s easy and fun and everyone’s invited!  And it’s not just cookies.   Share your recipe for any yummy holiday deliciousness.

I can’t believe Jz’s been doing this for 8 years. Wowza. It’s become a lovely part of my own Christmas tradition.  As a non-cookie baker, (I use Pillsbury slice and bake) it can be a bit of a challenge to come up with something,  but it’s worth the effort.  On December 5, I’ll run around and look at everyone’s offering (especially the pictures) with just as much as enthusiasm as if I were actually going to try out the recipes. 

What do you have to do to be part of the seasonal joy?  It’s easy.  Here’s what Jz says:

“It’s simple to play along, really.  All you need to do is to post a recipe for a holiday goodie on the appropriate day.         

                       (Wednesday, Dec 5th)

Your recipe doesn’t even actually have to be for a cookie. Anything that you consider yummy and festive is something I want to know about!

Sign up by noon on Monday, December 3rd in order to get your name on the list of participants. (I need some lead time time to assemble and distribute the list to participants.)

To sign up:         Email me by noon on Dec 3rd

With this information:         Your screen name and the URL of your blog.          (OK, I also need your email address but I’ll have that if you email, right?)                  

If I don’t get those 3 things, you won’t make the participant list.                   (Sorry, but I’m done with chasing people.)
That’s it – just one email, three details, and a post!     It’s gonna be fun!

If you’ve done it before, then you already know how much fun it is.  If you haven’t, then welcome to the good times!

FFF- 11-9

comic-book-whoosh-sound-effect-speed-bullet-75230823And just like that, it’s Friday again! 

It’s been a lovely week.  Um, not necessarily a big step week or a low carb/sugar week, but a lovely week in lots of other ways.   I took myself to the chiropractor.  I took my time doing some tasks and did them with thought and care.

I finished rearranging my “office,” and have a little bit of room to breathe. “Office” in quotes because it’s just a bit of space in one room, but still.  And  now I have a place for my rocking chair just outside of my office space where I can rock and read my kindle (which is the app on my laptop) in the evening.  One of the parts of my desk can be quickly converted into a space to hold my computer at a comfortable distance, and it’s just nice.

I made some decisions in my own best interest.  I had thought I was going to do one thing, and I changed my  mind about it.  I informed my family of my decision after the fact, rather than talking it over or getting their opinions first.  It was the right decision.  They supported it, but even if they hadn’t, it would still have been the right thing to do.

I got some stuff accomplished that I’d been procrastinating on forever.

I went for a long walk.

I whittled away my to do list, making actual progress.  I am not a plow straight through kind of person.  I do part of about 5 things, inching forward on the goals for each of them.  Maybe it would be better if I did pick one task and power through, but left to my own devices, I do a bit of this and a bit of that until I finish them all.  I even do dishes that way – I might put all the glasses in the dishwasher and then wipe off a counter before I start loading dishes.  Clean the coffee maker before I do silverware.

Anyhow.  I feel super lucky to be able to do things in my own way and my own time.  I’ve been doing some energy clearing – more music and dance, more smudging with sage.  I feel like my chakras might even be lining up.

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Energy Clearing

I watched a really fun – webinar, I guess it was.  Or meeting.  Or something.  Whatever you call it, it was an on-line event, and lots of fun.  All about claiming your magic, or getting your magic back, or some such.

I am all about getting my magic back now, and feeling really hopeful about it.  Not just because of the webinar – in fact, I probably watched it because I was feeling some hope.  So there’s that.

(Have you noticed, i’m always on the verge of doing something better than i have been?  i suppose sometimes i make actual progress.  Maybe.  But at least I keep going.)

Anyhow, Briana Borten, who did the webinar or whatever, ended up with the idea that we need to clear our energy.  And i was enthused about that.  She’s offering a group thing called Love Rising that meets four times a month – and is really reasonably priced.  I’m not going to do her thing though, so I turned to my dear friend google.

In the instant magic of the interwebs, I immediately found this article:  Getting Rid of Negative Energy: 20 Powerful Practices for Cleansing and Clearing Your Energy Field.    And, much to my delight, I already do a bunch of the things on the list.

I don’t do them all the time, consistently, but I don’t think I do anything very consistently, you know?   But from smudging with sage to napping, from walking with intention to breath work, there are lots of techniques I already know.

And there are some new ones, or ones I haven’t tried.  Using crystals more intentionally.  Essential oils.   And here’s a fancy one involving the chakras:

One of my favorite general self-clearing meditations that involves water is to lie down, close my eyes, and visualize my energy body and my chakras. I begin at the bottom, with the red root chakra. I see it clearly in my mind and then set it spinning. I move up the chakras, moving from red to orange to yellow to green to blue to indigo to violet, keeping them all spinning at the same time. Then I imagine a swoosh of water coming through the top of my head (through my crown chakra) and moving through each chakra in turn, cleansing them as it goes. The water flows back to the earth to be redistributed as needed. I admire my shining, sparkly clean spinning chakras for a moment and then settle them back down. That’s it. Easy as can be and so incredibly refreshing. 

And, although that article didn’t mention it, there’s Qi Gong.  Which I’ve learned more about but haven’t started doing every day like I planned.  Um, because I don’t do anything every day or like I planned.   But I think I’m ok with that today.  That is really just the way I’ve always been.  100 ideas, and a few that actually get carried out.

It’s ok.  I can sit with who I am… with love and compassion.