About me

I’m a sixty sixty-three year old submissive woman.  Cis-gender.  White.  I’ve been involved in BDSM and actively seeking a committed D/s relationship off and on for 15 years.  More off than on these days.

My life partner and i have been together about four seven years.  We started out on a D/s path, and, with a little bit of back and forth, it’s come to a complete halt. I’m no longer looking for him or anyone else to lead me on that path.

I feel like I’ve faded in the last few years.  Somebody once told me that you can’t put a submissive girl on a shelf. leave her there for a long time, and then expect her to be the same when you come back.  i feel like I’ve been loved, but my submission has not been nurtured, or even acknowledged, for a long time.  I rarely even feel it anymore.  It’s still a sexual kink, but the rest of it is gone.

So I’m a life partner, (with no desire to be his wife), a mother of adult children, a grandmother, a life coach, a friend, a writer, a sister, and so on.  Living in a place I love, in a multi-generational household, with so much to be grateful for.  Just trying not to lose touch with myself completely…

11 thoughts on “About me

  1. Glad to get to know you a little better, Olivia. I always thought you’d be in your 30’s! Must be your curious spirit that makes you young at heart. Hang onto yourself and stay in touch or get in touch with friends even though you’re an introvert. Connection keeps us from disappearing within ourselves at an unhealthy level. I need to take my own advice.! Hugs, Windy

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks, Windy Bird! Funny that you thought I was younger – I hope is is my curious spirit and not some immaturity that gave you that impression! And I think you’re right, working on not withdrawing, seeking connection, sounds like good advice. I’m smiling at your comment about needing to take your own advice – isn’t that true for all of us? Do you have a blog or website to share? When I click on your icon, nothing happens… In any case, thanks so much for stopping by!

      Like

  2. I thought you were younger too! You definitely don’t sound like a closeted sixty-something year old. You sound fresh and young and, as mentioned above, curious? I hope you bounce back from the ‘fading’. That really sucks! Maybe writing fiction would be a way you could connect with this part of yourself?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: A Request for Help? – Unhinged and unenlightened

  4. I’m glad I discovered you, Olivia… This point — “i feel like I’ve been loved, but my submission has not been nurtured, or even acknowledged, for a long time” — is rich and powerful and meaningful. And beautiful. I totally get it. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sunday morning…I’ve been dabbling for a very few months in the BDSM blogs continent…I’m quite older than 63…I have a hard time finding peace with the fact I came so late. But an immense thank you to the quite shy woman to have done all this loving tender writing. I wish you read this on a Sunday …and have a beautiful Sunday.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Depression, Gratitude, and a Break. | Reilly's blog

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