About me

I’m a sixty-eight year old submissive woman.  Cis-gender.  White.  I had been involved in BDSM and actively seeking a committed D/s relationship off and on for 20 years.  For a long time, mostly off.

I am a life partner, caregiver, mother of adult children, a grandmother, a life coach, a friend, a writer, a sister – but no one’s submissive, no one’s lover. for a long time.   Living in a place I love, in a multi-generational household, with so much to be grateful for…  

This is my third kinky blog.  The first one was written in the early years of my submissive life.  I left that  once I was in a committed relationship with Sir X.  He didn’t much like having me processing our experiences in kink out in public on the blog.  I also thought that I might start doing therapy with people in the kink community Where-I-Lived and I didn’t want the blog connected to my vanilla self.  

I started a second blog that was a space to process my experiences with Sir X.  During that time, the BDSM aspect of our relationship dwindled and disappeared, mostly due to some health issues and a loss of mobility that he experienced.

I started this blog when we moved to Where-I-Live-Now, trying to hold on to the part of myself that is submissive.  But I faded.  I clung to this blog, just trying not to lose touch with myself completely…

Then I met Jon.  Sir Jon, of Master’s Domain.   I was not even looking for someone anymore – but there was this spark.  And more sparks.  Next thing I knew, there was a whole frigging fire blazing between us.  While I was enjoying a bit of sub frenzy, he was using his Wicked Dominant ways to ensnare me in his trap.  Happily captured, I served him as best I could in an LDR that would never be anything else. I felt more alive and happier than I had been in years.

That came to a crashing halt when his wife found out what was going on.  I had known that might happen, and I’m sorry his wife had to suffer from his relationship with me.  And I’ll miss him forever. 

But… he was the catalyst that led me to tell Sir X I was submitting to someone else.  Pulled out of the depressed isolation he’d wrapped around himself, he suddenly came back to life.  Now he and I are beginning to explore what might exist between us.  Who knows where that will take us?

Life’s a journey, one big adventure from beginning to end.  Come walk with me and let’s see where this path goes…

Updated:  2-11-2024

22 thoughts on “About me”

  1. Glad to get to know you a little better, Olivia. I always thought you’d be in your 30’s! Must be your curious spirit that makes you young at heart. Hang onto yourself and stay in touch or get in touch with friends even though you’re an introvert. Connection keeps us from disappearing within ourselves at an unhealthy level. I need to take my own advice.! Hugs, Windy

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    • Thanks, Windy Bird! Funny that you thought I was younger – I hope is is my curious spirit and not some immaturity that gave you that impression! And I think you’re right, working on not withdrawing, seeking connection, sounds like good advice. I’m smiling at your comment about needing to take your own advice – isn’t that true for all of us? Do you have a blog or website to share? When I click on your icon, nothing happens… In any case, thanks so much for stopping by!

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  2. I thought you were younger too! You definitely don’t sound like a closeted sixty-something year old. You sound fresh and young and, as mentioned above, curious? I hope you bounce back from the ‘fading’. That really sucks! Maybe writing fiction would be a way you could connect with this part of yourself?

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  4. I’m glad I discovered you, Olivia… This point — “i feel like I’ve been loved, but my submission has not been nurtured, or even acknowledged, for a long time” — is rich and powerful and meaningful. And beautiful. I totally get it. Thanks.

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  5. Sunday morning…I’ve been dabbling for a very few months in the BDSM blogs continent…I’m quite older than 63…I have a hard time finding peace with the fact I came so late. But an immense thank you to the quite shy woman to have done all this loving tender writing. I wish you read this on a Sunday …and have a beautiful Sunday.

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  7. I have the same opinion about doctors as you do. Google is the best doctor …
    The bdsm for me was/today exactly the same as for you …
    I think other doors are open to me today … not than they used to be 🙂 I sympathize with you, ma’am.
    I kiss your hand and send you a virtual coffee.

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  8. Thank you attisToCy. I’m glad that my situation resonates with you and you feel some connection. But sorry if the bdsm door are not as open as you’d like! Thanks for the coffee and the kiss. 💜

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  9. I too ‘get it’, and coincidentally am also 63 and submissive. The difference being I’m also male, but in these cases I have never found that to be a significant point of departure for the issues we encounter over time and in relationships. My kinky drive has also waned, and I also feel that what a submissive has to mentally go through to put themselves in the position we do, or want to, is never fully appreciated for how intense it is. My experience is that even willing tops just see it as “what we want”.

    If such desires are thwarted or even just ‘not nurtured’ over a long period of time, and you factor in the natural factor of simply aging, it is no wonder these desires ‘change’ (define change as you will). I still live my lifestyle with my wife, but it is not what it used to be nor is it what I would once have wished it to be. Now, however? I am not even sure what I want it to be anymore. I’ve settled like an old house……….and creak at times with that settling.

    My advice, however, is to pursue SOMETHING that gives you satisfaction in your compromised state. I believe this is crucial to maintain a healthy mind and body as the years go by.

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    • Thank you, KD, for reading and for your thoughtful comment. I love the “settled like an old house” image. In some ways, I have too.

      When I think about pursuing something that gives me satisfaction – that sounds true, and I believe it – and yet I have no idea how to do that. I’ll keep trying though…
      💜

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      • First off I’m so over the moon for you, that after all this time you have found what you’ve needed. I am so very curious though about how LDR D/s works…I mean in some ways. B works a lot so many things over the years have taken place with us being in separate buildings .So perhaps it isn’t that different. Lol

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      • Thank you so much – I love that you’re celebrating with me!! It has taken soooo long, but Sir Jon is worth having waited for. I’m a bit curious to see how this LDR works myself! You’re right, a lot of it is probably similar to how you and B managed being in separate buildings. There are definitely down sides – I won’t ever be able to actually touch him, only imagine it. Or be physically touched by him. I am, however, surprised and delighted to discover how powerful the mind is. Also, on the positive side, I can kneel at his feet for hours without it bothering my knees at all! Lol, I don’t know Willie, we’ll see. I do know that I’m committed to doing everything I can to make it a viable, sustainable relationship. Thank you for being here. 💜

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