FFF – 12/28/18 – End of the Year Edition

It’s been almost a year since I started this adventure. That’s amazing. I started in February – I was late getting with the program. And I’m so glad I did. (Yay for Fondles and thank you for getting me focused!)

I started with these goals:

  • Eat less
    • Use my stupid Fitbit to count calories
    • Reduce carbs and sugar. Cut the obvious ones. Pasta. Ice Cream.
    • Eat 3 meals and 1 snack per day – no more.
  • Move more
    • Pay attention to my stupid Fitbit when it tells me to move to get my 250 steps/hr (when possible.)
    • Do some kind of yoga once a week. Use the gift certificate I have for 3 free yoga classes
    • Do some kind of dance once a week
    • Do a walking video twice a week
  • Spend 20-30 minutes organizing stuff at least 4 day/week
  • At least twice a week, do one of the many things on my to-do list that I’ve been putting off doing.

It was a good starting place. I quit counting calories when I went full-on low carb (not keto, just low carb.) And I’ve definitely moved more, but not like I planned to. Didn’t do the yoga class. Didn’t dance once a week. Lots of didn’t’s there

I didn’t meet my goal for organizing, but I did pack and unpack my entire house, so that should be worth something. Well, mostly unpack. There might be a few more boxes in the garage… And I’m still working it on it.

My to-do list is always a work in process. Or progress. Is it work in process or progress? I’ve been wondering about that for a while. Hmmmm, the internet has lots of nuance about it – well, some nuance anyhow. It seems that work in process means the work is happening now, with an end in sight. Work in progress is long term with no visible ending. That’s me, for sure. My to-do list is both a work in process and in progress, so there’s that.

I’ll have some goals for the New Year next week. For now – this week:

Step count average: 5,869. That’s an improvement over last week, but not where I want to be. Still. I’ll take my improvements where I can get them.

In other news, I got a surprising email. If you’ve been reading here practically forever, you may remember long ago that Sir and I played with the idea of playing with another Dom. We got as far as emailing and setting a tentative date for dinner, which we had to break. Anyhow – that was back in September of 2016. A couple of days ago, I got an email from him.

He said: If you would ever be interested in meeting up, get back with me. We almost met up and our schedules got crossed, somehow. A long time ago.

Which made me laugh out loud. He does not even say “Hi.” Not so much as a “How are you?” Silly man. Even if we hadn’t moved far away a few months later, it seems unlikely that I’m going to want to connect with someone quite so – thoughtless? shallow? socially inept? Whatever. No, thank you.

I did respond though, cause that’s what I do, and told him we’d moved and to reach out if he ever got down here. He said he’d been to Our City before and it was a nice place to visit. And that’s the end of that, but it just made me laugh.

The holidays must make people nostalgic because I also got a message from one guy I’d been talking to on Fet – not the one I almost connected with, the other one. The one who’s married, looking for someone on the side. He didn’t have much to say (well, not now and not ever, really) but just dropped in for a minute. Figuratively speaking. He does at least ask how I’m doing and so on, which is still a pretty low bar for social niceties, but better than Mr. “Let’s meet up.”

And that’s the news for today – oh, ugh, except for the scale, which is at 159. Ok, 159.2. But I plan to lose 4-5 pounds over the next 10 days. Quit laughing. They’re new pounds, at least 2 of them are, I can do this. I am not going to finish the box of bourbon balls I got for Xmas (Woodford Reserve Bourbon Balls) or the ice cream in the freezer, and that will be a good beginning. So there.

FFF – 12-21 & Winter Solstice

My FFF is quick and ugly. Steps – 2,900/day average. Scale – 157.8 Book – no words. Zero.

“What?” you say, “What happened to the bold assertions of last week?”‘

Um, where have all the flowers gone? (Hahaha…)

Well, we did Christmas with my sister and brother-in-law on Tuesday, I worked extra other days to make up for the time lost, and for the time I’m going to take off this year. We did holiday stuff with the kids – baked cookies, got Santa pictures. One day I was in meetings for 9 hours straight, almost back to back. It was a full week, just not a lot of movement. (I know, I know, excuses, excuses…)

In other news, I’ve decided my website needs to be totally redone – not the content so much as the design. Well, the structure of the content needs to change along with the design. Not the concepts so much.

I had originally thought I wouldn’t work at all during my vacation (which starts today and goes through Wednesday of next week.) I thought it would be interesting to see what that would be like.

Now I’m on vacation and I’m dying to dig into that website. I was up til midnight last night working on it – but maybe I should just look at that as my last working time? I think I’ll do that. Maybe I’ll even spend some time off-line.

In any case – it’s Winter Solstice today!

Merry Winter Solstice! Blessed Be.

May the Solstice and Turning of the Wheel

Bring You Love, Peace, and Good Fortune in the Coming Year.

Welcome the Returning Sun with Joy.

FFF 12-14-18

Here we go.  Steps average = 4,593.  Worse than last week, better than the week before.  Sigh.  I didn’t have a big step day this last weekend so that doesn’t help.  I haven’t been to the gym this week at all. 

I have gotten on the scale some though, and am a bit dismayed to see that I’m back up to 158.  Yep.  I’ve zoomed from my happy low of 154, which only lasted about a minute, back up to 158.  How do I even do that?  Oh, um, Christmas candy and cornbread, apple fritters and Doritos, and lots of other deliciousness, that’s how. 

Ok, I can get back on track there.  Or I can just get fat and unhealthy again.  Lots of other stuff going on in the meantime, most of it moving me in a positive direction. 

AND I started a new BDSM story.  I’m not going to stress on whether or not I do it every day, but I’ve set a low-bar goal of 1,000 words/week.  It will be fun to see how it develops.  And I did hit that goal this week, so yay for that!

Tons of work to do today – and Xmas shopping still undone.  It’s going to be a light year this year, but that’s ok.  The kids will get what they need and some of what they want, and all will be well. Right?

FFF – 11-23

We celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday, including acknowledging the genocide of indigenous people which underlies the establishment of this country.  Then we had a Thanksgiving feast and appreciated each other and the bounty in our lives.  It was just the 5 of us – me and Sir, my daughter and the grands – but we had a lovely time.  And there was pie. 

 And other good news this week:  Step Count Average is back up to 4, 565.  Which may be kind of sad still, but at least it’s better than last week!  As David says, “Progress, Not Perfection.”

I’m still not feeling fabulous, I have some kind of cold/cough combo that I can’t seem to shake. I went to my doctor, who did not prescribe antibiotics because it is apparently not bacterial.  So I have killer cough syrup for nights, decongestants and nose spray, vitamin c and zinc.  It hasn’t kept me from doing things for the most part, and I’ve only taken a few spare hours of down time.  But it does keep me from feeling really good and I’m wracked with coughing fits that are miserable for me and probably for everyone one around me too.

In any case, as I count my blessings, know that this blogging community and each of you is on my list of “What I’m Grateful For…” 

FFF 11-16

157 – apparently, my chunky little self has locked into that weight.  I can’t complain because I’m eating anything I want and not even moving much.  Like I was chained to my desk.

3,392 average steps.  Yep.  That’s my sad little step count.  Not even half of my already low goal.  Sigh.

Don’t you love how I make it sound like that’s something that just happened?  Not something I did through my own choices, but like it’s not even in my control.  Sheesh.  Of course it is in my control.  I’ve totally chosen to sit at my desk all the time and chosen to eat pasta and ice cream.  I’m lucky that I’m hovering around 157 and not back in the 160s again.

In good news, I got my new professional website to a point that I could share it, so that’s pretty frigging amazing. Now all I need is clients.  And i’ve been working hard on another thing I do that does make money, so we’re not going to starve.  Probably not.  So that’s super good.  And that really is why I’ve kind of felt like I couldn’t leave my desk.

I still have lots I want to do on my website, of course, but I feel like I can breathe a little bit too.   So that’s way cool.  It’s been a week of pushing thoruhg – and I haven’t been feeling well either, so that’s been a thing, but now I feel like I’m standing on the threshold of new life.  So that’s all good

Now to get back in the groove of exercising.


FFF 10-26

4,862.  That’s my sad little average step count this week.  Ugh.

Not enough.

I’m not taking enough steps, not drinking enough water.   Not spending enough time on my classes or building my website.   Not spending enough time on my regular job.  Not writing enough.  Not managing my diet well enough.  Not sleeping enough.

Not enough.




Ok, that is enough of that.  I’m through being all blues’d out, for the moment anyhow.

I am enough.  I – me, myself, I – I am enough.  I need to move – inside as well as outside.  I need to breathe more deeply, move with grace.

I may not know what’s going to happen next, but right this minute, everything is fine.

If you have food in your refrigerator,
clothes on your back, a roof over
your head and a place to sleep,
you are richer than 75% of this world.

I’m watching the grandkids this weekend, so that will be fun.  And absorbing.  I have a life of abundance and countless opportunities for joy.

I don’t believe in the law of attraction, but I believe that my life is already rich.  It is enough.

Even when it’s not.  🙂


FFF 10-19

And here we are again.

Reporting in – step count is DOWN.  5,924.  Weight is UP.  I would like for that to be the other way around.  Ok, and maybe my weight is not actually up, but hovering around 156, 157.  Sigh. 

I feel kind of old today.  When I look at the challenges ahead of me, career wise, I just feel tired.  Not quite overwhelmed, but a lack of energy or enthusiasm.  Like it’s going to be so much work, I wish I could just retire instead.  Just potter around all day.  Read books for fun and play with my grand kids.  That kind of for-real retired.

I don’t usually feel this way.  I imagine it’ll pass.  And maybe it’s just because I got some constructive feedback on my website that was really helpful but also gave me an idea of the scope of the work I need to do.

And I need time to devote to it, and focus for it, and even psychic energy.  It’s not impossible.  It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time – not exactly in this form, but in some form.

At the same time, the classes I’m taking have a bunch of assignments that challenge me to go deep into myself and explore my feeling.  Pull on my wisdom.  All that good stuff.

So I’d like to feel excited about it.  And I’m sure I will again at some point.  Right now, today, it just seems like a lot of work.  When really, I’m pretty much at an age that lots of people are finishing their careers, not looking to start new ones.

However.  I have a lovely life in lots of ways.  I don’t have to get everything done today, or even this week.  Or month.  I have time.   I need to plan what I’m going to do, build a new timeline.  Look at all the things I want to create and figure out all the steps I need to take and just plan it out.


But I don’t have to do it all today.