And here we are again.
Reporting in – step count is DOWN. 5,924. Weight is UP. I would like for that to be the other way around. Ok, and maybe my weight is not actually up, but hovering around 156, 157. Sigh.
I feel kind of old today. When I look at the challenges ahead of me, career wise, I just feel tired. Not quite overwhelmed, but a lack of energy or enthusiasm. Like it’s going to be so much work, I wish I could just retire instead. Just potter around all day. Read books for fun and play with my grand kids. That kind of for-real retired.
I don’t usually feel this way. I imagine it’ll pass. And maybe it’s just because I got some constructive feedback on my website that was really helpful but also gave me an idea of the scope of the work I need to do.
And I need time to devote to it, and focus for it, and even psychic energy. It’s not impossible. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time – not exactly in this form, but in some form.
At the same time, the classes I’m taking have a bunch of assignments that challenge me to go deep into myself and explore my feeling. Pull on my wisdom. All that good stuff.
So I’d like to feel excited about it. And I’m sure I will again at some point. Right now, today, it just seems like a lot of work. When really, I’m pretty much at an age that lots of people are finishing their careers, not looking to start new ones.
However. I have a lovely life in lots of ways. I don’t have to get everything done today, or even this week. Or month. I have time. I need to plan what I’m going to do, build a new timeline. Look at all the things I want to create and figure out all the steps I need to take and just plan it out.
But I don’t have to do it all today.