The Munch and More

The day of the munch, i had to finish shaving, and thank goodness i was able to do that without any problem.  Full disclosure – i used an electric razor.  No, it doesn’t shave as closely, but i also don’t cut myself.  I did read Nora Jean’s post about shaving like a stripper, and seriously considered trying it, but it would have meant an extra trip to the store and… yeah, i just didn’t.  The little hand held electric one did a good enough job.

I debated what to wear – internally, not in any discussion about it.  Sir usually doesn’t have much interest in what i wear.  i contemplated wearing a dress, but the only one i have that’s cool enough for this weather is a little black dress and i thought it might be too dressy.  So i wore my usual black capri leggings and a tunic top that i’d just bought and hadn’t worn before.  I was feeling pretty festive.

We get to the restaurant a bit early, and tell the hostess we’re with a group – she quickly ushers us into a private room.  Only a couple of older women are there – um, older like a couple of years younger than me, probably.  They greet us, and direct us to sign in with our Fet names.  I put olivia and remember later that my fet name includes numbers.  Have to ask Sir if he remembers what they are – and go back to add “60.”

We select seats in the middle of one side of the table.  As others arrive, they sit across from us and at the ends of the table until all of those seats are full.  i feel like i am sitting on a little island of newness.

i suddenly remember how socially awkward i can be – the introvert in me is whispering, “Go home.  Just go home now.”

Eventually, everyone arrives, and some people sit next to us.  No one introduces themselves, it seems that they all know each other.  Sir and i introduce ourselves a couple of times and he shares some vanilla information about us.  One couple talks about the cruise they took, and the huge walk-in closet they’ve converted to a play room.  The Dom in that couple and Sir chat a bit.

i realize the submissives are wearing skirts or dresses.  Dommes or switches in pants.  Ooops.

One young person is a furry – not in a full furry outfit, just ears and a tail.  She giggles with delight and crawls under the table from time to time.  Our server is unfazed by this.  The group members mostly react with fond acceptance,  although i think i catch some tight-lipped tolerance.

Several people have their phones out and are checking FaceBook.  I get mine out too – a gift for the socially inept.  Someone comments, “Lively bunch tonight!” in that hearty tone that suggests this comment will somehow shift the energy.  That doesn’t happen.

They are nice people, and i assure myself it’s not my fault that the evening isn’t more dynamic.   It’s essentially dinner with a bunch a people i don’t know, what did i expect?  i think there are all kinds of undertones of all kinds of things in the room that i can only skim the surface of.  Webs of connection that criss-cross around me in ways that i can’t possibly understand.  i wonder if someday i’ll recognize the subtle messages being sent and received.

The latest arrival sits next to me, so i start a conversation with him.   He’s relatively new to the area, and i totally can’t tell if he knows anyone else or not.  Soon, he and another person are sharing stories about driving for Uber or Lyft, which is alternately amusing and horrifying.

People chat about kinky events, events they’ve been to, events they’d like to go to, play parties in the area.  i’m taking mental notes.

We order food.  We eat.  The fish is not bad.  We do not order dessert.  They have a 50-50 drawing – neither Sir nor i win.  And then it’s time to go.

Home – home where we retreat to our bedroom to act out our own kinky fantasies.  Yes, that includes the mean little mini-paddle.   Nicely warmed up – hand then belt – i am ready for the paddle, or as ready as i can be.

i’m expecting the heaviness of a paddle – the thud. And it’s there, for sure, but there’s a bit of sting too.  i don’t really understand how that works – how can it thud and then sting?  But i don’t have much chance to contemplate, because i’m busy trying to not make too much noise and noticing the feeling as it lands.

Then, just as it is getting to be a whole lot, Sir has me count – just 10 more he says, but count.  When he says “count” he doesn’t want to hear “One, two,” he means, “One, Thank you Sir, Two thank you, Sir,” and so on.  i do like that, even if that last ones are the worst.   i love the way he is upping the ante slowly, adding instruments and tools, but in a strategic way, starting with the things he knows i love

When we were finished with my spanking, we satisfied other needs, and that was lovely.

As for the munch, we survived.  We got our feet wet.  It wasn’t bad.  Sorry it wasn’t more exciting, but it is what it is.  Maybe we’ll go back, maybe we’ll try a different one, whatever, it will all be ok.

And Sir is watching for an opportunity to play when no one else is home.  i’m  not sure what he has in mind, but i imagine it will involve lots of noise – from me.  i’m excited, and just a bit nervous.  We’ll see…

FFF – 7-6-18

Happy FFF to you!  Yes, I broke the “60” barrier – I’ve made it into the 159’s!!  New range of weights is 159.6-161.2.  We’ve been doing this – FFF – for 23 weeks and I don’t remember for sure where I was when I started out, but I’ve lost about 12 pounds.   Averaging about 2 pounds/month, which is not a bad rate.

In exercise/step news, I gave up on finding my old Fitbit and bought a new one, so of course I found the old one the next day.  The new one does a more thorough break-down of sleep cycles, which I like.  After all, if I know I only got 30 minutes of deep sleep, I’m not surprised that I”m sleepy, right?  So I can only report on 5 days, and have really lost ground in this area.  22,000 steps in those 5 days, about 4,500/day.   I need to do better this week.

I’m thinking about doing a personalized physical fitness program with a coach.  We’ve joined the YMCA, and they offer a 6 week program free.  I’ve never done anything like this before, which in itself is probably a good reason to do it.  I’m going up to get the application today – we’ll see if i can follow through on it.

Organizing my house – really, everything is in decent shape except my office.  Oh, and the garage, but that’s going to take a lot more than me to manage.

In other news, Sir went shopping for shorts at one of those big Hunting, Fishing, Everything Outdoors stores.  He texted me this picture:

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I said, “Yikes!” because what else can one say when looking at a serious frigging paddle, knowing that it could be used on one’s delicate butt?   Ok, it’s a mini-paddle, but still.

He replied, “LOL Yikes is right, I bought one, it’s Perfect !” which may not have been exactly what i wanted to hear.  i would have been fine with a less enthusiastic response.  🙂  I am pretty sure that i’m going to find out just how yikes-y it is tonight.

Because – yes – tonight is date night, and we’re going to a munch!! i’m pretty excited, and a bit nervous, but not too much.  The restaurant is an inexpensive chain restaurant, which doesn’t thrill me, but that’s ok.  You may not know this about me, but i am a bit of a food snob.  I prefer non-chain restaurants that offer eclectic combinations of food in original recipes made with fresh, local ingredients.  Ok, i can’t always get that, but local is better than chain and… anyhow, yes, i have a whole hierarchy of what’s good.  When we go out to eat, i usually pick the restaurant.

Sir, on the other hand, is a McDonald’s and Waffle House kind of man.  Seriously.   Fortunately, he’ll eat a burger just about anywhere, and most places have some kind of a burger.  ‘That won’t be a concern tonight.  I’ll be the one scanning the menu for that one thing that isn’t fried or over 1,000 calories and 90% carbs.  In fairness, i’ve already found it – they have a grilled fish that looks decent.  So that’s not a problem.  {Whew, i know you were worried about it for me too…}

Anyhow, all of that is to say that i should have plenty to talk about when i come back.  Stay tuned…

Don’t laugh…

Y’all remember when i was fantasizing about some kind of Dom mentor who would help me focus on meeting my goals?  Well, I was looking at OPBs yesterday (Other People’s Blogs) and saw a mention of a Spanking Life Coach.  I can’t find the link to that particular blog again, or i would give them credit, but i did find the Spanking Life Coach.

She goes by Harriet Marwood, which is apparently the name of a fictional governess in a Victorian novel.  But Ms. Marwood, spanking life coach, appears to be for real.   Her description of what she does could have been written with me in mind.

The profile of the average Spanking Lover is that of a highly successful, productive, assertive, results oriented individual. So successful, in fact, that he or she often is too busy to focus on his or her own PERSONAL GOALS.

 Does this sound like you? Are you woefully behind with things like:

·        starting that diet,

·        getting back in shape,

·        sorting out the mess in your apartment

·        organizing your office so that you begin delegating more or so that you don’t waste so much of your own time with nonsense

·        writing that book you know you have in you

·        or… allocating time to begin whatever that particular project is for you

 

Some practical lifestyle improvements are best turned over to an objective third party who can dispassionately look at your circumstances, assess your time, abilities, and needs and prioritize for you – creating a program in which the practical incremental steps are mapped out in small do-able chunks that painlessly add up to results.. IF, you follow the plan.

 

And SOMETIMES, you need to know that if you rationalize, justify delays or procrastinate, thereby NOT following the prescribed plan, there will be CONSEQUENCES. Consequences that are left to the prevue of that objective third party, and therefore will be administered faithfully and appropriately.

By now, you’ve surely realized what these consequences are: a strict, stern, sound spanking.

Of course, it looks like i’m not in need of those services at this point (yay!)  If i can get soundly spanked at home, there’s no need to look elsewhere.  And i don’t live in NY, so i couldn’t actually see her anyhow.  Plus, i wanted a male life coach cause i’m just that hetero.  But it sort of delights me to see that Ms. Marwood exists and is offering this valuable service – and to see that apparently, other people think it’s a good idea too.

Btw, this is not the type of life coach i’m going to be.  Just for the record.  But you already knew that, right?

 

 

Things I forgot…

I forgot how much i love this song:

In case you can’t see it, or it won’t play, it’s Bob Marley doing Three Little Birds.  “Don’t worry, ’bout a thing, cause every little thing, gonna be alright…”

I forgot how much more fun it is to do dishes and other mundane chores when listening to reggae.  And –

I forgot how much better i sleep if i give myself a little orgasm before I go to sleep.  I mean, I have my Magic Wand next to my bed for a reason.  But too often, even when i’ve kind of revved myself up a bit before I lie down, i still fall asleep about as quick as my head hits the pillow.  Y’all, even using the wand begins to feel like a chore.  Silly, because –

I forgot how damn easy it is to have an orgasm.  I mean, a quick fantasy –

“But it is time,” he says.  Firmly.  Gently, but firmly.  “Go ahead and pull up your skirt and pull down your panties.”

i don’t want to do this, i don’t.  And yet the thought of doing it makes me shiver with anticipation, and i know that if i touched myself, i would be wet.  So i do it, i pull my skirt up so my ass is exposed and tuck it into the waistband before he even tells me to.

i hook my thumbs in my panties and pull them down to my knees, widening my stance so the panties stop there.  He doesn’t need to tell me to do that, i know what he wants me to do.

i’m facing the corner already, i can feel him behind me.  “Step back,” he says, “two small steps back.”

i step cautiously, not sure if i’m going to bump into him, but he steps back too.  “Now,” he says, “both hands against the wall.   That’s it.  No, bend your arms, I want you leaning forward.  Push your ass out more.  That’s it.  Offer me your ass.”

It’s just a bit awkward, and definitely humiliating.

“Get comfortable,” he says, which makes me roll my eyes.  “Once we get started, I’ll want you to hold your position.  I don’t want you wiggling around.”

“Yes, Sir,” i say, and i do shift my weight some to make sure i’ll be able to maintain the stance.

“Ready?” he asks.

“Yes, Sir,” i say, making sure my tone is pleasant and cooperative.  i don’t like the consequences when i forget to do that.

“We’ll start with the ruler,” he says and there is no time for breath before it lands, hitting both cheeks hard.   The second  blow is lower, the third lands above the first one.  i’m gasping already, the stinging burn driving away all thought, filling my world.

***********

In the meantime, the lovely wand pressed to just the right spots, one hand on a nipple, and that’s all I need – that scenario – and Whoosh!!   A lovely little orgasm that leaves me more relaxed than i’ve been in days.

Thank you, universe.  I’ll try not to forget!

 

 

 

Some Other Questions

Actually, I’m kind of cheating here – there were a couple of comments on my last post that included questions, and I answered them in the comments, but now I’m thinking it might be a blog post all by itself.  First, I wanted to share this:

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And then – Amy had asked a question about spankings which led me to talk about subspace, and she wanted to know how Eric could learn to get her into subspace without a lot of pain.  Then Willie reminded me that subspace also brings the risk of subdrop, which is not so much fun.  To see their comments in full, go here.

And let me be clear – I am not some big expert on these things.  I’m speaking from my own experience, mostly, so other people might have had different experiences or disagree with me, and that’s ok.

But, in response to Amy, I said:

“Lol, I love your enthusiasm, Amy – but go read Willie’s comment first, because she’s also right, subdrop can be a thing (although if you and your husband know it might be coming, it’s easeir to deal with.) Anyhow, if you’re serious, here are some thoughts.

There are events where they have classes on how to do – stuff. I imagine you already know that. Often there’s a play party afterwards, but you wouldn’t have to go that, and if you did go, you could just watch (in a casual way) and just sort of see what it feels like. I love play parties for all kinds of reasons and even if you don’t do a thing while you’re there, you will probably be pretty ramped up afterwards. It’s like the most serious foreplay. I was at an event that had a class in spanking that I went to just for the fun of it and it was pretty fascinating. This might sound funny, but it made it clear to me why my first spankings were not what I’d had in mind.

There are also books about things like that. I can recommend some good books, but not necessarily one on teaching how to spank (not my forte, you know…) But I’m sure you already know that.

Beyond that, I think it’s experience and maybe experimentation. I’m pretty sure, in retrospect, that what happened that night was that my Dom started with a really slow warm-up, which allowed my endorphins time to kick in. As he increased the intensity, he did it in a slow and steady way ( which is why he told me to signal him if it hurt more than I expected, right?) So I got used to it. And the opiods in my system came out and were all floating around and – beyond that, I don’t know what happened. I dont’ really understand what subspace is, other than this lovely thing that happens. But I think it was the warm-up and then the slow, steady pace that did it.

I’ve experienced supspace through the use of rope too, which can be a really sensual and intense experience, so you might see if Eric is at all interested in Shibari. And I’ve experienced it through painful spankings but I’m not a big pain slut either so maybe it doesn’t take that much. I would speculate that you can’t get there as well through punishment spankings, but it’s pure speculation. I know you and Eric have been at this a few years (yay for you!!) and so you may have done this a bunch of times. But has he tried spanking you with different implements, not to see which is the worst, but to see which you like the best?

Ok, I’ve written a blog post here, and you probably already know lots of it. But good luck playing with it! Also, if you’re in the southeastern US, email me if you want recommendations for events. ❤”

Then Lindsey asked me if the same Dom had given me that experience again.  I said:

Yes, he did, although the other times I most remember were with rope and not spanking. He was really an expert in Shibari and I can still remember the feel of the rope on my skin as he created a “dress” or other patterns. I was looking for an article just a minute ago to describe what they call it when they work from the waist down – harness? I don’t think that’s right… But anyhow, I found this article that talks specifically about the mesmerizing effect of rope.   http://www.artofcontemporaryshibari.com/?page_id=29 I love that it says:

“In addition to creating beautiful patterns, with rope, body and limb placements, Shibari rigging induces physiological conditions known as “sub space” and “top space”, which are similar to the “runners high” experienced by athletes. A Shibari experience results in an increased level of endorphins and other hormones, creating a trance-like experience for the bottom/model and an adrenaline rush for the Top/rigger. When a Shibari scene is performed with appropriate ambience, these effects are actually visible in the face of the model. The term “rope drunk” is sometimes affectionately used to describe the euphoric condition of the model after a Shibari experience.”

Anyhow. We did some suspension bondage too, which was amazing, and – well, thanks for asking. Those are some lovely memories to unfold. ❤

And I was thinking – not for the first time, but in that “here we go round the spiral” way – that between leaving my church and not practicing BDSM, I don’t have anywhere to hang my spirituality – nowhere to call my spiritual home.  I’m still spiritual, but I don’t feel like I really have a community.  Now there’s a goal…

*If you can’t see the meme, there’s a steaming cup of coffee, with a deep purple flower across the saucer.   It says:

A riding crop and a blindfold doesn’t make it

BDSM.  There is a big difference between being

kinky and being in the scene.  It’s not a sexual thing

to me, it’s a very spiritual thing.

~ DominaBlue

The Spanking Question – from Amy

Thanks, Amy!  Love this question.

What was the first spanking you ever received as an adult and would you say it was playful? Sexual? A punishment?  Oh, sadly, the first spankings I received as an adult were the result of sharing my secret liking for spankings with some very vanilla guy I was dating, who then tried to spank me because he figured I’d like it and it would turn me on.  It did turn me on, but being spanked by someone who doesn’t really like doing it and who doesn’t know what he’s doing at all is not as much fun as those of us who crave spankings might dream of.

On the other hand, my first actual spanking by someone who considered himself a Dom for real, and who liked to spank women, was a lovely experience.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.  And the best spanking I ever had – well, really, it was “impact play” was from a Dom at a dungeon.  We had been dating and he was really experienced so he’d already spanked me and tied me up and done all kinds of things.

He attached me to a St. Andrews cross.  Just my wrists, he left my ankles unfettered.  He told me if what he did “hurt more than I expected it to” that I should raise one leg off the ground, to let him know, because in the dungeon he wouldn’t be able to hear my safe word.

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He started with a flogger, I remember that, but i couldn’t tell you what else he used on me, just that i slipped into subspace without ever feeling real pain and just soared for a while.  The entire room disappeared.

All i was aware of was this amazing sensation of being in my body completely and totally present to the moment, but just focused on me.  Nothing else existed other than the feelings i was having.  When I came back to earth, he was untying me, and my ass was red and welted, but i had still not felt any real pain.

When i said that to him, “but it never even hurt, Sir,” in tones of amazement, he said, “Of course not, it wasn’t supposed to,” adding  “Come on, carry this blanket over here and I’ll wrap you up,” or something like that.   He left me just trembling with submissive longings…

Sigh.  It was lovely.

Thanks for the question!!

 

 

 

Fantasy Moment 10-18

Naked, of course, even though i am more comfortable when he lets me wear something.  Never anything that would get in the way of his hands or mouth, not for more than the second it takes to push the material aside, to pull it off.  Never clothing that would get in the way of his cock.  But no clothes at all today.

It is warm in the room, and warmer still because he has just finished strapping me.  He has had me bent over the arm of the big over-stuffed chair for a long time, spanking with his hand first until i’m well warmed-up, and  then with his belt.

i love the belt, the feel of leather on my ass, the sound it makes slashing through the air, the crack as it lands on my ass, and the sting.   So i’m feeling a little floaty when he makes me stand up, but i’m quick to respond to his gesture to open my legs.

Standing with legs apart shoulder width, facing him.  He pauses, his gaze looking me up and down, then, “Hands on top of your head,” he says.

This moves my arms and hands out of the way, raises my breasts.  It is one of the most vulnerable positions for me.  He pinches each of my nipples, hard, and I bite my lip, wondering what he will do next.  His mouth is gentle, warm and wet, his tongue caressing one nipple until i moan before he moves to the other.

As he pulls away, the air is cool on my damp skin.  i feel even more exposed, every part of my body sensitized and open to his touch.  My ass tingles from the whipping, but even the flesh on my arms is aroused.  With both hands on my head, i feel like i’m offering my body, and desperately want his touch.

He pinches both nipples again, making me squirm, and laughs.  “Wait here,” he says, and i watch him walk out of the room.

i want to cry out, and maybe i do, just a little bit, i really don’t want him to leave.  But he’s gone, quickly, with out a glance back.   No need to look, he knows i’ll be here waiting, just as he left me.  Ready for whatever pleasure or pain he brings, whenever he’s ready to play with me again.