This is very much like the kneeling bench i used at the Buddhist meditation group i went to today. It was amazing that i was able to kneel without difficulty for about 45 minutes. It made me smile a little bit to remember all the times i've talked about wanting to try one of these … Continue reading Meditation Bench
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Just a Story
i dreamt last night (this part is true) that i was with two men - maybe having coffee with them. They were Doms but didn't know i was submissive. Then one of them asked me, "Well, if you know about BDSM, do you have a role? What are you in that world?" And i felt … Continue reading Just a Story
Get Things Done
The view from my "office", aka the living room, is lovely this morning. Pale pink streaking the sky, framed by the trees and rooftops. i have finally gotten our screened in porch cleaned up enough that i will be able to sit out there and enjoy it, especially as the weather gets cooler. i have … Continue reading Get Things Done
The Problem Today…
i am really just using this blog as a journal so pay no attention to my bitching and moaning. There are things i need to say that i choose not to say to those around me in real life. This is one of them: The constant presence of other people is really hard. They randomly … Continue reading The Problem Today…
Is It Night Time?
It might be. Night time, that is. I'm super sleepy. And while i don't have to post today, i hate to interrupt the flow of writing something every day. i made travel arrangements today for my adventure in December, and am super excited about that. That trip will also open the door to possibly meeting … Continue reading Is It Night Time?
One of those lists… and a Quote
Found this on FB and thought it was fun. Marriages - 2 Proposals - 2 Divorces - 2 Surgeries - 0 Tattoos - 0 Piercings - ears only, 1 time Ever shot a gun - yes, more than once Quit a job - yes, a bunch of jobs - never been fired Been on TV … Continue reading One of those lists… and a Quote
I Forget…
When i am most miserable and hopeless, i forget that it's ok to feel that way. i begin to feel like i'm irreparably broken, and that this is a huge problem. i think that it's supposed to be different, that i'm supposed to be different, that i'm supposed to make it different. Today i was … Continue reading I Forget…
Rope
Someone I know (not through the kink community) posted this article on FB. Rope Bondage by Lucy Bellwood It's a cute little comic style thing covering some basics of bondage. It made me feel good because it triggered so many memories of a time when I was involved with someone who could do rope bondage … Continue reading Rope
More Non-Kink
i am overwhelmed today with my awareness that there is just too much trauma coming at me for me to absorb. Just in the last 24 hours, things that are still sitting just under my skin: Reading a book for a book discussion group. Talking about slavery and the sexual abuse experienced by female slave. … Continue reading More Non-Kink
He’d Never Leave Her
(This is fictional, as far as I know. It came to me while I was standing in the airport waiting for my plane to board, and I couldn't get it out of my mind.) He would never leave her. He thought about that sometimes, how it might seem like a good idea to walk away, … Continue reading He’d Never Leave Her
Olivia 