i am a hypocrite. And at the moment, awash in shame. Yeah. The only way out of that is by changing my actions so they match my values. i know this. There's no reason to talk about what i'm going to do, or make excuses for why i haven't already, i just need to fucking do … Continue reading A Hypocrite
BDSM
Just Chillin’
Being on vacation is lovely. i have not even been thinking too hard about stuff. It's funny, for a day or two i was thinking about practices i could start that would increase my sense of submission. In particular, the blog i was talking about before, he did this lovely post about that, you can … Continue reading Just Chillin’
Maybe i’m not
"Maybe i'm not even submissive," i say with a sigh. He glances up from his dinner, "You've been reading other people's blogs again, haven't you?" i giggle, he knows me so well. "Maybe. Ok, yes." He nods. "Come here." i hesitate - i haven't finished eating either. "Bring me your plate," he says, noticing the … Continue reading Maybe i’m not
So many thoughts…
i found a blog that turned the heat up on a bunch of ideas that have been simmering on a back burner for a long time. i'll link to it as soon as the owner lets me know he's ok with that. He is clearly on a mission, and it's important to me to make sure … Continue reading So many thoughts…
Sorted Out
"What's wrong?" he asks. "Oh, nothing, really," i say with a sigh. He raises that one eyebrow, damn it, and i quickly correct myself. "i don't know - no, really, i'm just out of sorts." "Feeling bad?" "Tired. A little bit overwhelmed. Just - you know. Out of sorts." "Sounds like you need to be … Continue reading Sorted Out
Three more days…
Three more days til my mini-vacation; i am super-excited. But also trying to stay in the moment since the vacation doesn't start for 3 more days! i was super-productive yesterday, but doubt if i can sustain that level of excellence the rest of the week. Plus, i worked 12 hours to accomplish what i did. … Continue reading Three more days…
Trust
i have shared this before in a variety of places, but just want to leave it here today. i always have to watch it twice, once because i'm mesmerized by the bodies, and then again so I can let the words register. Hope you enjoy it. (If you can't see it here, go to Youtube … Continue reading Trust
Sunday Check-in; 5-1-16
Whoa, another week gone by, another check-in, another general lack of any progress in any area. Yep. No increase in exercise, and no weight loss and i didn't do stuff i thought about doing that would have been fun and good for me. i did some binge eating and read two books from the Masters … Continue reading Sunday Check-in; 5-1-16
Goals – the next day
i wake up early. i lie there for a minute, trying to remember what's different today. Then it comes to me - oh. Yes. Oh. I want to go to the bathroom, but i can barely get out of bed. One ankle and one wrist are attached to the bed. i could untie myself, theoretically, but … Continue reading Goals – the next day
Too Tired
Shygirl wrote a lovely post about being sleepy - you may want to read it here, because she says it so well. All i could think was, "Oh! Me too!!" i don't know why i'm so tired - i'm even waking up kind of tired, even when i get up at my normal time. i … Continue reading Too Tired
Olivia 