Whoa, another week gone by, another check-in, another general lack of any progress in any area.

Yep.

No increase in exercise, and no weight loss and i didn’t do stuff i thought about doing that would have been fun and good for me.  i did some binge eating and read two books from the Masters of The Castle series, which is a lot like candy for the brain.

i did some work stuff effectively, and dug myself out of an emotional pit that had captured me.  i was not as productive as i would have liked.  i blogged here every day, but no where else.

i felt a lot of sadness about my relationship with MP.  It’s like living with a dear friend who’s not in good health.  i love him, and don’t want to end our relationship, and i still want the things i thought we were going to have which proved elusive.  He is not able to give me those things.  A Gordian knot to untangle.

In other news – today is May 1, May Day, or Beltane.

“Beltane kicks off the merry month of May, and has a long history. This fire festival is celebrated on May 1 with bonfires, Maypoles, dancing, and lots of good old fashioned sexual energy. The Celts honored the fertility of the gods with gifts and offerings, sometimes including animal or human sacrifice”.

i found so many images to share:

And then i saw this – suggestions of how to create your own Beltane ritual.  This is one with a focus on Honoring the Sacred Feminine with a Goddess Ritual.  It starts with decorating your altar – and i have an altar, of sorts, i just haven’t used it in a long time, and it’s not set up at all anymore and MP’s dirty clothes baskets are taking up a lot of space around it.  So i have some work to do just to get started.

In the ritual, i would start with a prayer to the Four Directions, which i have not done in a very long time.  Then i would call on the goddesses – Isis and Ishtar and others who i don’t know, adding Hecate to the list they suggest.   Hecate – goddess of journeys – is mine, the one that resonates with me, the one i follow.

The ritual goes on to name and honor the women in my life who have touched me, and that’s a long list.  Finally, naming myself and honoring the mysterious and sacred feminine that flows through me – and through you too, even if you are male, because feminine energy is within all of us.

Just thinking about doing it feels good, and i need to figure out where in this house i can carve out some space just for myself.  i have clutter and crap i need to get rid of, and MP has even more than i do.  But today i need to not get overwhelmed with doing the whole house, i just need to find some sacred space for myself.

Your sacred space is where you can

find yourself again and again.

~~ Joseph Campbell