No matter what else may be bothering me, a trip to the ocean will always leave me calm and feeling better able to face those challenges. I know that sounds incredibly corny, but it is just true When I woke up this morning, I almost decided to sleep a little more instead of driving down … Continue reading A Mess, but Not a Failure
Uncategorized
Stirring the Pot
I forgot. Coming here really stirs the pot of my feelings. I've been fine these last few months. Fine, I say. Now i'm reading kinky blogs about spanking and getting turned on. i'm reading old blog posts and longing for days gone by. i'm beginning to write fantasies in my head. Sigh. i'm not going … Continue reading Stirring the Pot
Lazy Sunday Morning
It's a beautiful day and I'm just waiting to hear from Jade. Drinking a latte, chilling. Good times ahead. Also, chatting with someone on fetlife. He's a bit older than i am, which is nice, and married, which i don't think i care about. Super casual conversation, but kind of fun. And for your reading … Continue reading Lazy Sunday Morning
Ella’s Meme
Ella's Meme 1.Name a tender song that can almost make you cry. There are some old ballads - particularly one that I think is called "Jack of Diamonds" What is your favorite shade of lipstick? What about nail polish? If you do not wear lipstick or polish, what do you like or dislike about the … Continue reading Ella’s Meme
This Weekend
I have not been here in months. And that's ok. I've been busy. Moving. Working on smashing the patriarchy. And now - here i am again. Back this time because i'm super excited that i'm going to meet the lovely and charming Jade and her Master, Sir Raven. How cool is that? I'm traveling Saturday … Continue reading This Weekend
A Quote – or Two
“Kizzy wanted to be a woman who would dive off the prow of a sailboat into the sea, who would fall back in a tangle of sheets, laughing, and who could dance a tango, lazily stroke a leopard with her bare foot, freeze an enemy's blood with her eyes, make promises she couldn't possibly keep, … Continue reading A Quote – or Two
Only Two-Thirds
So if my work issues are kind of becoming resolved - which they might be - and if i can take advantage of the opportunity to work through my issues - even knowing that the organization is also fucked up - rather than leaving, then only about 2/3rds of my life is still out of synch … Continue reading Only Two-Thirds
Sadness
Feeling all kinds of self-pity tonight, and this song says it all... (lyrics at the bottom, in case you can't play it.) i've been watching webinars - 5 in the last few days, but who's counting? Anyhow. The last two i watched went together, in an unplanned synchronicity of the universe. And here's what … Continue reading Sadness
Lurching from one foolishness to the next
Omg, y'all, i am just now realizing that my job has been - the people at the job i have - some of the people at my job - have been interacting with me in a way that triggers deep shame for me. This insight came to me in the middle of the night and kept … Continue reading Lurching from one foolishness to the next
Beyond the Mundane
My life is in flux. Fluid, unstable, vacillating. My relationship, my job, my plans for the future seem to be continuously changing. Maybe that's always the case and we just don't realize it? i feel like i have been living from my head, trying to stay on the path, even when the path has been … Continue reading Beyond the Mundane
