I forgot. Coming here really stirs the pot of my feelings.
I’ve been fine these last few months. Fine, I say. Now i’m reading kinky blogs about spanking and getting turned on. i’m reading old blog posts and longing for days gone by. i’m beginning to write fantasies in my head. Sigh.
i’m not going to spend my time here whining about things i don’t have. No, i’m not. Really.
i’m in a new city – i could get active in the community, right? There’s actually a play party coming up soon. You have to go to orientation first. That would be two nights out of the house for me, which i’d have to explain to my partner AND to my daughter. But it’s exciting to just have the possibility, isn’t it?
AND i’ve actually lost 15 pounds since i was here last. I still have about 20 to go, and i’ve kind of stalled, but when i was here, i didn’t think i’d ever lose an ounce.
So i’ve not been thinking about kink or submission or any of that. And i’ve been pretty ok. But avoiding my feelings is probably not really great either. Sigh. So here we go.