Feeling all kinds of self-pity tonight, and this song says it all... (lyrics at the bottom, in case you can't play it.) i've been watching webinars - 5 in the last few days, but who's counting? Anyhow. The last two i watched went together, in an unplanned synchronicity of the universe. And here's what … Continue reading Sadness
Author: olivia
Lurching from one foolishness to the next
Omg, y'all, i am just now realizing that my job has been - the people at the job i have - some of the people at my job - have been interacting with me in a way that triggers deep shame for me. This insight came to me in the middle of the night and kept … Continue reading Lurching from one foolishness to the next
Beyond the Mundane
My life is in flux. Fluid, unstable, vacillating. My relationship, my job, my plans for the future seem to be continuously changing. Maybe that's always the case and we just don't realize it? i feel like i have been living from my head, trying to stay on the path, even when the path has been … Continue reading Beyond the Mundane
Dancing in Circles
Not to be confused with dancing circles, which might be something like this: dancing in circles is more like this: We have just danced back through the dance we do - MP/ Sir - just danced through our steps again. The next step for me is to feel anger and despair. Only - i'm not … Continue reading Dancing in Circles
Public again
i've gone public again. If it looks like we'll be involving someone else in our relationship, i'll probably make the blog private again, but who knows if/when that might be. In the meantime - Hi!!
Nope
We were supposed to have dinner with our potential person, but he canceled, explaining that he's had some family issues come up and isn't going to have time for other activities for a while. i am pretty generally ok with that, but wonder what's going to happen with Sir and me. Also, i've had to … Continue reading Nope
For Real Now
Sir gave me an assignment. i thought it was a stupid assignment and i didn't want to do it. He says he's training me. Hmpf. i thought all kinds of mean nasty things about him and his ability to Dom me. i know, that's not very nice, but i did. (i started to say it wasn't … Continue reading For Real Now
The Good News Is…
...there is plenty to worry about, but i don't actually have to worry about any of it. i am not really sure i want to have sex with some stranger. i mean, why can't Sir just keep being the way he is now? But i don't have to worry about it. We'll figure it out. … Continue reading The Good News Is…
Don’t Laugh…
Sir is running a bit amok. Serious, sustained playtime two days in a row, sudden 24-7 protocols (mild, but still) and ongoing conversation about Sir John, our possible potential play partner. He has ordered a bunch of toys and things online for me - an outfit of some sort, panties, a "comfortable blindfold" and a … Continue reading Don’t Laugh…
Not an Anomaly?
Yesterday, he told me i need to show him more respect, and i should call him Sir when we're alone. A couple of weeks ago, i would have felt indignant and scoffed at the idea. But already it seems quite reasonable. How quickly this submissive spirit falls into line! (And that makes me smile.) So … Continue reading Not an Anomaly?
Olivia 