'What's on your mind?" he asks. Deep in thought, i say, "Nothing, really," but then i hear what i've said and see his face, eyebrows raised. My eyes widen, and i swallow hard, wishing i could take those careless words back. It is, of course, too late. "That's ten," he says casually. "With the crop … Continue reading An Open Mind
Submissive women
BDSM and me
i am realizing that i have a full-blown philosophy about BDSM. (In case anyone still thinks that being submissive means not having your own opinions - um, no. It doesn't mean that.) My concept of BDSM... ...requires clear, specific consent. You can consent to not having a safe-word, you can consent to non-consensual consent if you … Continue reading BDSM and me
In the light of day
“Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.” -Alan Cohen Finding my balance again - somewhere between … Continue reading In the light of day
A Hypocrite
i am a hypocrite. And at the moment, awash in shame. Yeah. The only way out of that is by changing my actions so they match my values. i know this. There's no reason to talk about what i'm going to do, or make excuses for why i haven't already, i just need to fucking do … Continue reading A Hypocrite
Just Chillin’
Being on vacation is lovely. i have not even been thinking too hard about stuff. It's funny, for a day or two i was thinking about practices i could start that would increase my sense of submission. In particular, the blog i was talking about before, he did this lovely post about that, you can … Continue reading Just Chillin’
Maybe i’m not
"Maybe i'm not even submissive," i say with a sigh. He glances up from his dinner, "You've been reading other people's blogs again, haven't you?" i giggle, he knows me so well. "Maybe. Ok, yes." He nods. "Come here." i hesitate - i haven't finished eating either. "Bring me your plate," he says, noticing the … Continue reading Maybe i’m not
So many thoughts…
i found a blog that turned the heat up on a bunch of ideas that have been simmering on a back burner for a long time. i'll link to it as soon as the owner lets me know he's ok with that. He is clearly on a mission, and it's important to me to make sure … Continue reading So many thoughts…
Sorted Out
"What's wrong?" he asks. "Oh, nothing, really," i say with a sigh. He raises that one eyebrow, damn it, and i quickly correct myself. "i don't know - no, really, i'm just out of sorts." "Feeling bad?" "Tired. A little bit overwhelmed. Just - you know. Out of sorts." "Sounds like you need to be … Continue reading Sorted Out
Three more days…
Three more days til my mini-vacation; i am super-excited. But also trying to stay in the moment since the vacation doesn't start for 3 more days! i was super-productive yesterday, but doubt if i can sustain that level of excellence the rest of the week. Plus, i worked 12 hours to accomplish what i did. … Continue reading Three more days…
Sunday Check-in; 5-1-16
Whoa, another week gone by, another check-in, another general lack of any progress in any area. Yep. No increase in exercise, and no weight loss and i didn't do stuff i thought about doing that would have been fun and good for me. i did some binge eating and read two books from the Masters … Continue reading Sunday Check-in; 5-1-16
Olivia 