“Tomorrow night,” said Lucas, “There’s a party at the dungeon – of course, there is most Saturday nights. But I need to be up there for this one. I’m not doing a demo, but there’s a meeting I have to be there for, and they’re doing some classes before the party and I want to be there for that. I’d like you to come with me. I have a more specific plan, but in general, how does that idea sit with you? I know it’s short notice.”
Sofia hesitated, then, “I’d love to,” she said. “I think. But I have a bunch of questions. Like – oh, I don’t even know where to start!”
Lucas laughed. “Ok. Let me give you more specifics. I’d like for you to accompany me as my partner for the evening, with the understanding that we’re considering an ongoing relationship. I have to go to a meeting, but you can go to classes while I’m doing that. Afterwards, we might go the play party for a while, but that’s optional. I’m thinking if we want to play – and I do think you need to be spanked – I don’t want to do it publicly the first time. But we could use the apartment upstairs.
“The apartment has two bedrooms,” he continued, “so we don’t have to sleep together if you’d rather not. Sexual contact or not could be negotiated ahead of time, of course. That’s some of my thoughts. What questions do you have?”
Sofia was having a hard time remembering what her questions were, because every time Lucas said “spanked,” her pussy throbbed and distracted her. She tried to focus. And blurted out the first things that came to mind.
“Won’t it upset people if you show up “with” me?” she asked, using air quotes.
Lucas shook his head. “There isn’t anyone who has reason to be upset about that,” he said. “It could be awkward for you down the road if we decide not to be together though.”
Sofia considered the possibility, “No, I’m not worried about that. And I do want to – you know. To play.”
“To ‘you know’?” Lucas snorted with laughter. Sofia blushed. “I think we’ll need to be a little more specific than that. What is it you want to do?”
“Um, I want to – what you said! The – what you said,” and her voice dropped to a whisper, “the spanking part.”
Lucas’ eyes were laughing, but his tone was serious. “I’m going to need you to be more clear. You might say, ‘I need to be spanked, please, Sir,” or “I need a good spanking, please, Sir. Try again, please.”
Sofia felt like she might melt into a puddle of embarrassment right there on the pier, but she knew she needed to say the thing. “Yes, Sir,” she said, “Um, I do – I do need to be spanked, please, Sir,” and as she said it, a shiver ran through her as if she’d plunged into icy water. It passed quickly, but Lucas noticed it and put an arm around.
Sofia leaned into his warmth, closing her eyes. His hand stroked her hair, “Good girl,” he said, and she cuddled more closely into him.
He held her for several minutes, until her heart slowed back down to normal and her breathing was easy. Then he said, “No worries, little one,” and she was thrilled all over again.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been called ‘little one.'” Sofia said. “For some reason, it always reminds me of one of Anais Nin’s quotes. I don’t remember all of it, but it starts out, ‘I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot, ‘ and I forget the rest.”
Lucas smiled, “I always remember the end of that one. Isn’t it that she wants: ‘to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding?’”
“Omg,” Sofia sat bolt upright, dislodging his arm. “I can’t believe you knew that. Who ARE you?”
Lucas started laughing, too amused to talk. At last he said, “You know, I’ve been studying Dominance and submission just as much as mindfulness for many years now. Anais Nin is kind of Kinky Submission 101, isn’t she?”
Sofia considered that for a minute and then she laughed, a bit ruefully. “Yes. I guess she is. I guess I just don’t know many BDSM scholars!”
Lucas lightly kissed the top of her head. “I’m one of a kind, little one,” he said. “Come on. Let me take you home. We’ll need to leave about 1:00 tomorrow – can you do that?”
“Mmmmmhmmm,” Sofia said, nodding.
Lucas had already stood up, she was just getting up, but he put his hand on her shoulder and said, “Stop.” Obediently she froze.
“What is the correct response?” he asked. “How do you address me?” With one hand, he lifted her chin up so she was looking at him.
It took Sofia a moment for this to sink in. Then she realized what he meant, and “Oh! Yes, Sir,” she said, “I’m sorry, I forgot.”
He smiled, his thumb brushed her lips, and he released her. “That’s ok,” he said. “This is just a reminder. The next time you forget, I’ll provide a consequence to help you remember.”
Once again a shudder ran through Sofia’s body, and it took her a moment to pull herself back together. Lucas waited then offered her his hand as she stood up.
Sofia thought, I’m living in cliches, throbbing pussy, tingling nipples, and shudders running through me. She and Lucas walked hand in hand back along the pier to the car.
At the car, Lucas turned her face up to him again, but this time he just looked at her for what felt like a long time. “Where are you on the submissive scale?” he asked.
“About a six,” she said. Then he tucked her into the car.
On the way home, they talked about Anais Nin. He told her that reading Nin’s work had helped him understand that someone could have a need to submit at the same time they needed creative and personal autonomy. They agreed that the Marquis de Sade’s writing were highly overrated and not actually relevant to modern BDSM. He mentioned Story of O as a frequent gateway to recognizing one’s desire to submit, and Sofia agreed, without telling him it had stirred her first awareness of her own desires.
In the parking lot, he said, “Where’s your submissive level now?” Sofia pondered a moment before telling him it was about a four. The exchange of ideas had lowered it some, although it also made him more attractive. She didn’t tell him that.
“Wonderful,” he said. “I’d like to keep you simmering there for a while.” Sofia laughed, half indignant, half thrilled. “I have an assignment for you,” he went on.
“I want you to go in and get ready for bed however you normally do, but don’t put pajamas or a gown on. I’m going to send you some thoughts to consider in terms of consent for tomorrow tonight. Can you move your computer somewhere other than where you usually work? I want to keep this separate.”
Sofia paused, thinking, and said, “Yes, Sir, I can use my ipad and that way I’ll read and answer from my bedroom.”
“You don’t have to answer my message tonight,” he said, “Although of course you can. But you can sleep on it if you want to. That’s one thing.”
“Yes, Sir,” she said, her breathing more shallow. “I can do that. I will do that.”
“The second thing,” he said. “First, a question. Has this evening been physically arousing for you?”
Sofia laughed, “Um, yes, Sir,” she said. “I would say it has been.” She was already planning to get out the Hitachi.
He smiled. “Good. Good girl. So – no touching yourself tonight.”
She whimpered. She heard herself do it, and wished she could take it back, but she saw his slow smile and knew that he knew how she felt.
“No touching,” he said again. “No orgasms. Not tonight, and not tomorrow morning. If there are orgasms in your future, they’re with my permission. Clear?”
“Yes, Sir,” said Sofia, trying not to sound pouty. Besides, under the pout was a whole new layer of excitement.