Yes, today is actually Day 10 of my vacation, with tomorrow being the very last day. But I started this post on Day 7. Back on Thursday, I wrote:
I did go to the beach for a walk yesterday, and then had a lovely evening with my friend, although we skipped yoga. Maybe next time. Instead, we ate sushi and had a beer – that’s kind of like yoga, right?
I ran across this on Facebook today:
It says that the Greeks had six words for love, and defines them. Full disclosure – one of the first comments on the FB post was by someone with a Greek sounding name. They said that half of this is
bullshit not true. He didn’t say exactly which half, but that’s ok. I know that Eros is accurate, and Agape love is a thing. I know they had a word for friendship love, although I don’t know that it was Philia. The rest of them may be imaginary – but that’s ok. If they don’t exist – they should.
So the meme has:
Eros – which is sexual desire and passion. Erotic love. We are all familiar with that one, named after Eros, the son of Aphrodite, goddess of sexual love and beauty. His father might have been Zeus, Ares, or Hermes. Hmmmm, I didn’t learn that in my childhood book of mythology.
Philia – which it describes as deep loyalty to friends. Good says it’s friendship and affection, so that sounds right. But it’s also the word that denotes an “abnormal love for an object or thing” – what we often call fetishes. Most notably pedophilia, not to be confused with podophilia, which is love of feet or bibliophilia, love of books. But I digress. “Philia” is also friendship or affection for friends.
Ludos – they define as “Playful Love.” This one, based on my initial, brief google search, was completely made up. No such word as “ludos.” But then i saw a Psychology Today article that also talks about types of love and ludic was one. Of course, it could still be totally made up. Anyhow. It’s non-committed love – flirting, dancing, sex without strings.
Agape – Love for everyone. This one is pretty commonly known and talked about in some religious congregations – considered “God-like” love – often meaning not sexual or romantic. I experience as that rush of love one gets sometimes when you’re with a group of people when you feel a sense of belonging and connection.
Pragma -Like pragmatic, right? The meme says “developed over time,” Other sources say it is practical, mutually beneficial love, with low sexual intensity. Lots of relationships like this.
Philautia– Described as “taking care of self,” but it’s actually self-love, so it can be healthy or unhealthy. At it’s worst, it’s hubris, or excessive pride – thinking that the rules don’t apply to you, a kind of narcissistic specialness that inflates self. Of course that’s not really “love” at all in my book, but that’s one way to look at it.
At the healthy end is self-esteem and self-care (which is not self-indulgence, but a radical act of love involving self- discipline.)
Storge (pronounced Store-gay) is a 7th type of love, found in Psychology Today, but of course it wouldn’t have fit in the meme. This kind is familial love, particularly a parent’s love for their children, which is not unilateral but also “fondness bred out of need or familiarity.” Which could overlap with Pragma, right?
In fact many of the types have overlap, blend or can morph into one another. You can start with Luidic love, move into erotic, and wind up in Pragma or Storge. You could start with pragma or agape and move through Eros. All kinds of possibilities. i know in my relationship with MP, we went from Eros to some mix of Philia or Storge, with a touch of Pragma.
So what am i looking for in a Dom? Eros? I don’t know – that doesn’t seem quite right. How do you describe the love a submissive has for her Dom – is it one of the above? Is it the same as any other relationship, or is it different?
Goodreads has 65,087 quotes about love. 2,202 are tagged self-love. Including this one:
“Dare to love yourself
as if you were a rainbow
with gold at both ends.”