Once upon a time, in the very long ago, “What’s your sign?” was an actual pick-up line in bars.  Maybe not a good one, and it became a joke, but it really was a thing.  I don’t put any stock in horoscopes predicting the future, but always enjoyed reading about people’s signs.

My favorite resource was Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs, and I still have a dog-eared copy of it around the house somewhere.  It’s a bit too stereotypically gendered for my tastes these days, but still  holds some truth.  Her description of a Pisces woman includes this:

“Even without astrology, rumors have spread about the charms of a Pisces female. She has her negative points, to be sure, but at first glance she’s every man’s grade school valentine, with maybe just a touch of a Playboy bunny to add some pepper. We might as well admit that the modern, emancipated woman, with her cast-iron image, has made the Pisces girl’s value shoot even higher. With all that freedom from the feminine mystique clouding the air over lover’s lane, the demure, pretty, helpless Neptune creature has to beat off the men with big sticks.
It’s hardly surprising that she’s at a premium. The Neptune female seldom tries to overshadow her man, married or single. She hasn’t the slightest hidden, neurotic desire to dominate him in any way. He can pull out her chair, put on her coat, whistle for the taxi, light her cigarette and talk about how wonderful he is to his heart’s content. All she wants is that he should protect her and care for her. She’s happily content to lean on his big broad shoulder and let him know, with wide-eyed wonder, how strong he is, and how much she needs him in this scary world. Just think of all those wolves out there, waiting to devour Red Riding Hoods. It’s enough to make a girl get out her smelling salts. Even if she isn’t quite as Victorian as all that (though plenty of girl fish are), she’ll be a charming listener to all his troubles, and what is referred to as a good egg through every crisis.”

It seems dreadfully dated to me, but there is just enough truth to all that – or at least there was in my youth – to make me cringe and smile at the same time.  You should go check out your sign.  It’s all on the internet these days – just google Linda Goodman Cancer woman, for example.

But I’m thinking about all this thanks to Jz at A Reluctant Bitch.   She posted links to several articles about “how we are” based on our signs.  She leads with:

How You Struggle with Your Single Life According to your Zodiac Sign: at this link.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

“Out of all the signs, Pisces NEED a relationship most. Staying single is a danger to their emotional health. Since they’re extremely sensitive and self-pitying, they need a partner who can comfort and motivate them, because they don’t believe in themselves. A Pisces resists being single at every turn.”

Well.  i’m not sure that staying single is actually a danger to my emotional health.  That seems pretty extreme, i’m sure that i’m fine on my own.  Well, kind of fine.  Maybe not great.  Ok, fine, i do need a partner.

But wait – NOT because i’m self-pitying!!  Ok, i might want someone who will comfort and motivate me, i’ll give them that.  But for sure i’m surviving without it.  So there, stupid article.

Then we move to this one:

Ranking Every Zodiac Sign Based On How Good They Are In Bed at this link.

“If you want to have good, passionate sex, sleep with a Pisces. They’re old souls who see sex as an art. They use it as a way to express themselves, and the act is elevated as a result. People who are with a Pisces lover get to see the physical manifestation of their lover’s feelings, what more can you ask for?”

I’ll take this as true.  Lol, i’m not sure it’s accurate, but i like it.  It does make me wonder how come i’m here all celibate for the last three or so years.  Years, y’all.  And it’s essentially non-consensual celibacy, right?  Oh, well.  It is what it is.

Ranking the Zodiac Signs Based on How Likely They Are to Snap and Kill You at this link.

“When a Pisces is emotional, they just want to drink wine and do something creative with that energy. It’s not going to come out of them with volatility or be in any way, shape, or form murderous. They might kill you with their art and their words, but not anything literal.”

Ha, this is totally me.  Yep.  Bring on the Chardonnay, or the Merlot, depending on the season.   And i might say mean things about you on my blog.  But that’s about it.  I definitely won’t snap and kill you

What does your sign say about you?