I have turned out to be a controlling old hag. I won't give details 'cause it doesn't matter, but over and over this year, I've had to notice my own tendency to want to manage how other people live their lives. Um, particularly all these people I live with. It's how I manage my anxiety. … Continue reading Control
Fantasy Snippet 5
The timer dinged just as I was finishing my second set of lines. I tried to write "to do so" quickly, but he was suddenly beside me and "Put the pen down," he said. He almost sounded like he was amused, but when I quickly glanced up, he was quite serious. The words on my … Continue reading Fantasy Snippet 5
Sunday Love
Poetry. That kind of love. It's a day for poetry, and I don't think this was written as a poem, and yet it is one. If you can't see the image, it's a picture with three birds and some greenery. It reads “Once upon a time, when women were birds, there was the simple understanding … Continue reading Sunday Love
Fantasy Snippet 4
I followed him across the room, heart pounding, wondering if we were headed for the spanking bench or the the St. Andrews Cross. I was taken aback when he led me to a writing desk quite close by. What? He gestured toward the chair and waited for me to sit. Looking at him questioningly, I … Continue reading Fantasy Snippet 4
Fantasy Snippet 3
{Oh, my, I just read Naughty Nora’s latest entry on the story she’s writing and it drove me deep into desire. Since this is not an appropriate time to - you know - take care of myself, I thought I’d do a new bit of fantasy of my own.} Slowly, hesitantly, I moved my feet, … Continue reading Fantasy Snippet 3
Trees
Look at this tree. That tree has survived hurricanes and probably droughts and who knows what else, and there it is. So perfectly beautiful. Look at those limbs. Wouldn't a tree house up there be lovely? I thought that was a perfect tree. Then I saw this one. This one leans a bit. You can … Continue reading Trees
Fantasy Snippet 2
"Up," he said. I stood, a bit slowly, my knees protesting. He didn't rush me, just watched, sitting upright in his big chair. He let me stand a minute, just looking at me, and the urge to cover my body made me tremble. "Hands behind your back," he said. Slowly, reluctantly, I moved in response, … Continue reading Fantasy Snippet 2
Fantasy Snippet
"Kneel," he says. I obey, lowering myself carefully. I am at his feet, his hand strokes my hair. I shiver with pleasure. "You've been a bit neglected, I think," he says. With a laugh, he adds, "You won't be neglected here. Disciplined, yes. Punished when appropriate, rewarded when you earn it. The paddle may bring … Continue reading Fantasy Snippet
Fixing the Fixer
It's about wanting to fix. About wanting to reduce the anxiety that rises up in my chest when someone I live is not ok. I can describe it a lot of different ways. I can call it co-dependency - my happiness, my ability to feel good, depends on someone else feeling good so I direct … Continue reading Fixing the Fixer
Letting It Go
I was having a lovely Sunday afternoon, for no particular reason, until a minor household crisis arose. I sprang into action and, with MP's help, devised a solution. I could have been pleased at our successful planning. We haven't implemented yet, but we know what we need to do and he's heading out to get … Continue reading Letting It Go
