No, I’m not talking about actual gifts, not ones that come in brown wrapping paper or the ones under the tree. I’ve wandered back to the whole, “Is submission a gift?’ question.

I’ve decided it’s a ridiculous question. After all, “submission” is a whole huge concept. It’s a little bit like asking “Is parenting a gift? or “Is being a daughter or son a gift?” 

I am submissive. That’s my sexual orientation – vanilla sex has never worked for me. Having me kneel at your feet and worship your cock might feel like a gift. I hope it does! But for me, it’s an expression of who I am and how I feel about you. I take great pleasure in offering that “service,” and in being obedient and pleasing. But it’s not a gift to you, really, it’s what turns me on. It lights me up.

I’m a service submissive. For me, that doesn’t mean I cook or clean – if that’s the service you want, you have the wrong submissive. Not that cooking or cleaning are beneath me, I’m just not very good at them, and don’t aspire to be. I mean, I do cook and I do clean, but I know people who make it an art form. That’s not me. Fortunately, that’s not been on the “want” list for Doms I’ve known.

I have a gift for listening to people when they’re struggling and offering support. Sometimes, that helps people heal old wounds. I’ve done this as a career for most of my life. Helping people heal, find ways to feel better, or meet their goals, or whatever it is they want to do. I do it professionally, and I do it with my friends, and sometimes with my family, although family is not always as appreciative as you might think they would be! 

I think of it as a submissive service because the goal is for them to get their needs met. In my work with them, I don’t lead them and seldom give advice. My attention is focused on helping them figure out what they want and how to get there. My wants or needs are not a consideration. I sometimes tell people that it’s the only relationship you have with someone else that is really all about you. That’s my gift – and I offer it to others. But that’s not “my submission,” in the sense of a gift for them.

So that’s my take on the perennial question. I think submission is a gift I have, like it would be a gift if I were an artist or a musician. How well I use my gift, in a hindered small acts every day, is going to determine whether it’s a gift to others or not. 

Does that make sense? It’s my gift, it’s not a gift for others in a big block of submission way, but it can be expressed in ways that make it a gift. 

You know why I think this question lingers? I think that it’s about a need to be appreciated. Submission can be a quiet, unobtrusive thing. And submissives can feel very taken for granted. (Not me, thank you, Sir Jon!) But it’s not unusual. I think that adds to the whole, “but my submission is a gift.

Ok. I’m sure there are at least 35 ways this doesn’t hang together. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Wicked Naughty Interlude will return tomorrow – I have grand kids to unwrap presents with today!  

Merry Christmas!!