Having started thinking about what it’s like to fuck, I find myself thinking about it more. Way back in the day, long ago and far away, Erica Jong wrote about what she called “the zipless fuck.” As I recall, without doing any actual googling, it involved sex without any commitment or ongoing attachment, maybe without even knowing each other’s names. In real life, I have not been a fan of that kind of sex.

You know, I’m all about connection and emotional presence and all that. But again today…

I’m lost in thoughts about that physical connection. Hovering over him, really hot and wet, just the tip of his cock inside me. For a minute. Just teasing him. Then sliding down, feeling him fill me til he’s deep inside me…

Or on my back. I liked to do it with my legs raised high, maybe up to his shoulders so he goes deep, deep, deep… Mmmmm.

It’s funny, sex – actual penetrating intercourse – has never been the most important thing for me. Probably I had it semi-forced on me too many times in my younger days. But lately? Well, it’s just on my mind.

And then it always brings me back to this quote:

“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.”
― Anaïs Nin