SO Out of Sorts…

And as soon as i thought that – because i really am still out of sorts, and trying to ride it out – i decided to google images for it.  That was actually helpful.  First, i found this:

 

out-of-sorts

…which is exactly right.  That’s how i feel.  Not every minute of the day, but a lot of minutes.  And i’m trying not to fight it, but to let it roll through and away in its own time.  It’s ok to feel this way, at least some of the time.  i think.

Then i discovered there’s a book called Out of Sorts.  Maybe i should read it?  Do any of you know it?

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And that’s right too.  A LOT of the time i feel like i have it pretty well sorted out.  Right now, i don’t.

i think about what jade said – that i’m not getting enough introvert time, enough down time, time to just be, and i think she’s right about that.  i don’t see anything i can do about it right now, but still, it’s good to keep that in mind.

Then i found this:

winnie-the-pooh-quote-when-late-morning-rolls-around-and-youre-feeling

…which made me laugh.  i love Winnie the Pooh.  But then i thought about the things that monkey said, and thought about how very little self-care i’m doing.  Which of course, ties in with what jade was saying.  And the only way that will change is –  if i frigging change it.  If i start doing all those things i’ve not been doing.

And finally, i saw this:

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So beautiful, isn’t it?   And a reminder for me, it really is ok to feel this way for now, and i need to do something different unless i want to feel this way for a really long time, right?  And i don’t need to do all the things, just some of the things.

My daughter and grandkids will be here tomorrow, and i will be swept up in a big ole rush of good times and love and chaos and joy.  It’ll be great – even better, probably, if i go finish getting things ready now.

And just as i was getting ready to end this post, i flipped to FB and found this:

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And somehow, that feels right.  Now let me go finish child-proofing the spare bedroom.

images

4 thoughts on “SO Out of Sorts…

  1. So much love for you! I love Winnie pooh because he makes so much sense. I’m wishing I could do something to help. Please make sure to take care of yourself. I know that job will be much harder in some ways with kids-but easier in others. Children help remind us to be mindful and fully immersed in the moment. I’m thinking you need a long weekend at the sea after they go home so you have scheduled some quiet time. Maybe?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, jade. It will be ok. Better with the kids here, for sure, because they are frigging adorable! No long weekends in the foreseeable future, but it’s ok. Maybe in September. ❤ Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You’re hardly the first person I’ve experienced this with, so please don’t hear this as pointed criticism, but I really do get frustrated watching my friends (and yes, most of them do this) take so little time for themselves. They claim there’s no choice, or there’s too much to do (and, btw – does killing yourself to get caught up ever actually result in being caught up?) or there’s no good reason not to take on this one more thing (and thing, and thing, and thing)… and they forget all about boundaries, pacing, and the ability to say no. They forget that they count, too.

    So they forge relentlessly ahead, over-extending themselves and giving me carefully neutral looks at my lack of drive… and yet I watch them slowly sink beneath their own expectations. They get drained, cranky, and honestly? Pretty boring. Conversations become not an exchange of ideas but a laundry list of achievements (or lack thereof.) Their “full” life sucks them up to the point that they’re all about the goals and they forget about the journey. They’re “doing”…, but they’re not energized by what they do… instead, they’re wound so tight, they’re no longer capable of relaxing, even if they try.
    And they don’t know how to change.

    But, of course, nobody wants to hear this, and if you say it anyway, you’re discounted.
    So I don’t usually say it.
    Except, apparently, right now. 🙂

    Aaannd… with no good way to end this rant, I’ll just
    *bump*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, you’re right, and that’s apparently what’s happening to me. Except for the big list of accomplishments, which i don’t actually have. So, yes. Now i just need to figure out what to let go of. So thank you for saying it. ❤

      Like

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