i feel like my energy is being pulled in different directions.

It’s like this:


And it kind of feels like this:

IMG_1151But then you have to imagine it’s a GIF and everything is being tugged toward the outside and away from each other.  Does that make sense?


So i also have this sense of wanting to walk away from everything.  Just to pull my “self” out of the mix and take it somewhere else.

It’s times like these that i feel like a good spanking would help.  Like it would center my “self” more firmly in my own energy space.  But that’s probably not going to happen today. Or this week.  Or next week for that matter.

So how do i do that on my own?  i know i know the answer to this, i just can’t find it right now.




7 thoughts on “Energy

  1. You do the only thing you are able to do. You work hard at self care, try to stay balanced, and put up a thin little wall in the hopes of keeping the negative world energy mostly out without completely walling yourself off. Of maybe that’s just me.

    I feel a bit like a cat that has had it’s fur petted in the wrong direction, how about you?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i do get it, and i’m concerned about how little time you have to simply be alone. Daydream. Read. Have silence. When i get those things, i find that i know what else i need to be doing for myself. Answers become obvious.
    i wish i wasn’t wired to need pain and force to feel settled, centered, comfortable-but i do. When that need isn’t met, everything else feels like a band aid for a wound that requires surgical skill. Right now, with everything going on in the world-let alone our personal lives-it’s just too much. FWIW, i think you need a plan in place, an agreement for how long to wait for him to find someone. Something. A human being can withstand damn near anything, if we know that there is an end in sight. Much love.


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