This is Part VI of a story that started as a snippet from my drafts long ago.  Thanks to James X Morgan’s interest in the story, we’re continuing to co-create Delilah’s adventures with Master Graham.  You can find the posts here on my blog, and on James’ blog Tall Tales.

Part 1, originally named A Tantalizing Opportunity, now called Delilah’s Adventures with Master Graham: Intro is on my blog here and on James’ blog here.

Part 2, Meeting, is on my blog here and on James’ blog here.

Part 3, Demonstration, is on my blog here and on James’ blog here.

Part 4, Exploration, is on my blog here, and on James’ blog here.

Part 5, Consummation, is on my blog here, and on James’s blog here.

Delilah awoke and stretched.  She felt wonderful.  Then she noticed a slight discomfort in her lower back, and her bottom felt – a little tender, sensitive to touch, even with the softness of her sheets beneath her.

The memories came flooding back.  

Last night, she had gotten a spanking.  She had never been spanked before, and this time – a giggle escaped her – she had really asked for it.

She stretched again. She had gotten home in a bit of a daze, more aroused than she had ever been.  If only Graham – or Sir, as she had started to call him – if only he had realized what she wanted…  Her own touch on the soft skin between her legs, stroking her wet folds while the other hand played with a nipple… She sighed.  She had wanted so much more.  She had given herself a lovely orgasm, but she wanted to take him in her mouth… feel his hands between her thighs… She sighed again.

And how strange that she had wanted more and Graham had seemed uninterested.  Usually, she had to reject men’s advances and this time she felt like she had been the one who wanted to push for more.

Thank goodness, I didn’t say anything, she thought, imagining the humiliation if he had actually turned her down.  Maybe he just wasn’t attracted to me.  That was a sad thought, and she decided she needed more evidence before she could know if that was true. 

And why did it feel perfectly ok that she had asked a man she just met to spank her – and had loved it?  That was so far outside her image of herself as a professor and a researcher, and a feminist, it was almost unbelievable.

But she had longed for that in her fantasies, she could acknowledge that.  And somehow, she felt safe with him.  That was a paradox.  A spanking that really hurt from someone who made her feel safe.  And accepted.  He wasn’t shocked that she wanted to be spanked.

She wondered if he would reach out to her today, or sometime soon.  If not – oh, wait!  This had all started because of her research, she didn’t have to wait for him to message her! She could send him a note!

Suddenly energized, she sat up in bed, wincing a bit as the pressure on her bottom reminded her that she would not be sitting so comfortably today.  She smiled.

************

MG sat at his desk, momentarily lost in thought. He smiled as he recalled the events at the club and the turn they had taken. Delilah had protested that she was researching and wasn’t there under false pretences. He believed her but he couldn’t quite believe how quickly her personal excitement had overcome her reserve. Or the level of arousal that she had tried to hide. She had clearly been fantasizing about more than just a spanking.

She was an attractive woman and that submissive trait made her even more so. Might she want to continue her research? And might that research continue to include a personal element? Would she make contact again? Might she choose him to help her? The prospect was as attractive as she was; perhaps it wasn’t only Delilah who felt a stirring of arousal.

MG shook himself; daydreaming was acceptable but it shouldn’t monopolise his time.

************

Delilah showered and dressed, feeling intensely aware of her body movements, the sensations on her skin from her loofah, the towel, the lotion she slowly rubbed in…  

She couldn’t wait to draft her message to Sir – Graham, she corrected herself.

But once she was settled with her cup of coffee in front of the computer, she couldn’t imagine what she would say.  She started well enough:

Dear Graham,

She didn’t suppose he would expect her to call him Sir.  Although… she wouldn’t really mind.  But no, that was too presumptuous.  He had indulged her fantasy last night.  More importantly, she corrected herself, he had helped with her research.  And if part of that help had been in the form of experience – well, that was nothing to feel embarrassed about.

But – she laughed – “Thanks for the spanking” was hardly the right way to start.  Her father had often told her she was too emotional and tended to take things on a personal level.  Maybe she could channel his energy and keep this professional. 

It was a pleasure meeting you last night.  I appreciate your help with

Thank you for sharing your knowledge and allowing me to see a bit of what a D/s relationship might be like.  The demonstrations were very interesting and informative.  

She paused.  Ok, that worked so far.  Should she say something about the spanking?  What on earth would she say -it was a lovely spanking?  She giggled, but no.  Definitely not.  Should she apologize?  Sorry I was so unprofessional and let you spank me on my bare bottom?  Those words still sent shivers through her, but no.  Definitely not helpful for this note.  Channeling her father was also not helpful in this moment.

She paused, noticing the tension in her neck and shoulders, letting her muscles soften, slowing her breathing.  What did she want to say to this very nice man who had helped her live out a fantasy and indulged her desire to be spanked?

Slowly, she wrote:

I am a bit embarrassed this morning that I let myself behave unprofessionally at the end of the evening.  I don’t regret it, but I feel a bit awkward.  I hope we can continue to meet, since I know you are a great source of information, but I would not want to impose on you.  

If you would rather not meet again, I understand, and will just say thank you and not bother you again.  If you are willing to continue meeting with me, that would be very helpful.  

Warmly,

Delilah

Delilah read the message again a number of times throughout the day before deciding that was the best she could do.  She hit Send with some anxiety and then began scrubbing the kitchen sink and counters, as if she could release the nervous energy that way.

************

MG checked his emails later on Thursday and was surprised to see Delilah’s name in the inbox. Then he smiled. Was he really surprised?

He read the message and pondered the words. Then he read it again. ‘Dear Graham’ – had she hesitated about how to address him? Either way she had chosen well. ‘I don’t regret it’ – that simple, guileless statement stood out from the nervous hedging of the rest of the email but the message seemed clear – she wanted not just to meet again but to continue meeting. And she was unsure whether or not he would be interested. He smiled again and congratulated himself on his restraint the previous evening; it appeared he had left her wanting more. Good. He would be happy to oblige.

But how to respond? Professional interest perhaps; something that would allow her to engage without having to declare openly her thinly disguised personal interest. 

Dear Delilah

Thank you for your note. I’m pleased you appreciated the visit, and the demonstrations, and very much hope you will find them useful for your research.

I remain intrigued by the idea of a link between BDSM and trauma healing and would be happy to help you explore that further if you might find it useful. I certainly would not consider it an imposition.

While certain aspects of your research last night might have been motivated more by personal interest than professional, I do not consider that your behaviour was in any way unprofessional. We discussed and agreed in advance what it was that interested you and what we might do to feed that interest.

I believe we also agreed at the end of the evening that there remained nothing pending nor any outstanding obligations. Indeed any further discussions we may have might be the richer for our interaction last night; we now know that we can discuss all matters frankly and without fear of judgement.

Do let me know, if you would like to, how you might like to proceed with your research.

Respectfully

Graham

Having reviewed his reply MG was satisfied. He saved the message; he would send it tomorrow. Or on Saturday, perhaps. 

******************

Delilah was sure she wouldn’t get a response on Thursday.  She didn’t really expect one on Friday either, but she still checked her email twice as often as she usually did.  By Friday evening, she was pretty sure he was never going to respond.

She called a couple of friends, but everyone already had plans.

At last she settled in front of the computer and looked through her notes on BDSM and healing trauma.  She began with her list of areas of life that were negatively affected by trauma.

1. Safety
2. Trust
3. Power and Control
4. Self-Esteem
5. Intimacy (Emotional and Physical)

Just looking at the list, she could think of so many ways that a relationship between a Dominant and a submissive could be healing.   

Her mind drifted to the safety and trust she had felt with Graham.  She wondered if she would even hear from him again.  With a sigh, she closed her computer and settled on the couch with a blanket to watch a movie.  No point in thinking about it tonight.

******************

MG sat thoughtfully at his desk on Friday evening. Before him were several open tabs each showing a result of his brief research into BDSM and trauma healing. While there were differences in approach some central themes emerged: reclaiming agency, building trust, processing past experience; consent, obviously; risk of triggering past trauma and the need for professional guidance and support. Hmmm. Not knowing her background he would need to be careful. 

He looked at his watch and turned off the screen. Bed. He paused, turned on the screen, found the message and pressed SEND before turning off the screen again. Shouldn’t keep her waiting too long. 

*******

Saturday morning, Delilah woke up with a rush of anticipation, which she promptly squelched by reminding herself that Graham had probably not responded.  But she couldn’t resist checking – and was delighted to see a message from him waiting for her!  

She fixed a cup of coffee quickly, skimmed through the message, and was happy to see that he was open to continuing to meet with her.  Then she settled herself to read the message again more carefully.  His words were so kind – but still very professional. She was relieved that it didn’t sound like he felt sorry for her.  She was less concerned that he might think less of her after – well, after spanking her, and she almost giggled at the thought.  

He didn’t think it would be an imposition to continue helping with her research.  He didn’t think she had behaved unprofessionally.  

This sentence, “…any further discussions we may have might be the richer for our interaction last night; we now know that we can discuss all matters frankly and without fear of judgement” really resonated with her and she read it several times.  It was so affirming, without being condescending in the least.  She liked his formal way of talking.

Finishing her cup of coffee, she sighed.  How would she like to proceed with her research?

She didn’t try to respond to the message until Sunday afternoon, although thoughts of what she might say simmered in the back of her mind all day.  

Dear Graham,

Thank you for your thoughtful response.  I’m so glad that you’re willing to continue to help me explore the link between BDSM and healing trauma.

I appreciate the perspective you shared on our interactions on Wednesday night.  It really is good that we can talk comfortably with each other without judgement.

Delilah struggled with the next paragraph, but decided that simple and straight-forward was the best path.

I’m not sure what the best way to proceed is.  I would like to talk with you again, and would also like to see more demonstrations, if possible.  I don’t know if there are more personal experiences that would be helpful, but I’m open to possibilities.  What are your thoughts about the best way to move forward?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Warmly,

Delilah

Delilah re-read her message about 12 times, changing a word here and there, moving a comma.  At last, she thought it was as good as it could get, and she hit Send.

*********

MG’s weekend was set to be uneventful. He wasn’t surprised not to hear from Delilah on Saturday and decided to spend the evening at the club. He had no fixed appointments but intervened when two subs he knew well started arguing. It turned out in the end to be a more interesting evening than he’d anticipated.

**********

MG didn’t set an alarm when he got home and woke later than usual on Sunday morning. He enjoyed a quiet morning, savouring his coffee with the newspapers. After lunch he settled at his desk to catch up with some paperwork and do a little more research on BDSM and trauma healing – quite fascinating. He was tidying up when he saw Delilah’s email arrive. He opened it immediately.

He smiled as he read the message; it seemed he had hit the right note in his previous email. ‘More demonstrations’ might be useful perhaps but… ah! ‘more personal experiences’, ‘open to possibilities’. Was she knowingly hinting at what she really wanted? Or didn’t she know yet? What were his thoughts?

He drafted his reply immediately. Having spent several minutes reviewing it he hesitated; would his request about her background offend her or scare her off? He sat back pensively and then went to the kitchen for coffee.

Returning with his coffee, MG reviewed the email once again. It might carry a small risk but it would save some time when they met. He pressed Save. He would check it again in the morning before sending it.