I did not expect Sir Alex to tell me to put my clothes on. And he said it so matter-of factly, as if this were the obvious next step!

I was hurt. Dismayed. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I bit my lip hard, refusing to let them spill over.

“My clothes?” Of course he had decided that he didn’t want me. I probably hadn’t told him I was interested fast enough. Or maybe the way I reacted hadn’t been what he wanted… I didn’t know what I did wrong.

But I stood up, as he had directed me to do, my shoulders slumping a bit as I prepared for more rejection.

“Yes,” he said. “Your clothes,” sounding maybe a bit impatient.

I nodded, forcing myself to respond, “Yes, Sir.” But then I just stood there, frozen.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

I didn’t know what to say. He shook his head. “Your clothes,” he said. “They’re neatly folded, in the cabinet where you put them, in the back of the room.”

“Yes, of course, Sir,” I said, stiffly, making myself turn away from him, head down, and moving slowly toward the cabinet. My clothes were there. Thongs, a skirt, a cute top. Even my bra was there. I sighed. No more submission for me…

Feeling like a loser, I took the clothes to the bathroom, splashed water on my face, washed my hands, and dressed. Fully covered, I sighed again, and walked slowly back into the room where Master Alex waited. He was standing, looking perfectly relaxed, his head tilted just a bit as he watched me approach, as if he were curious.

I stopped a little bit away from him, where I had previously been kneeling.

He said, “We’ll need to do a new consent contract since you’re agreeing to be my demo submissive. We’ll go over the form you already completed again, this time checking to see what you’re willing to experience in public.”

Those words, “willing to experience in public,” sent a shiver through my body, a thrill of anticipation. And then, without a thought, I blurted out, “So you don’t want to send me away?”

“Send you away?” He frowned, “Is that what you’ve been thinking? Is that why you seem a bit off?”

Feeling foolish now, I bowed my head, “Um, maybe, Sir.”

He laughed. Moved closer to me, took my chin in one hand and raised it so I was looking at him. No longer laughing, he said, “If I want to send you away, I will be very clear about it. You’ll know exactly why and what to expect next. If you’re not sure about something, you can ask. Your goal is to obey me without questioning my motives or what’s going to happen next. I know you’ll require plenty of training to reach that point, but that’s where I want you to invest your energy, pleasing through you obedience. Ask yourself, ‘how can I obey Sir Alex in a way that will please him.’ That is the question to focus on. But all you have to do is obey. Am I clear?”

“Yes, Sir,” I replied, a bit breathless with the reminder that my submission to obedience was all that was required of me. It was exciting – I could feel the heat between my thighs and knew that I was wet and would welcome his touch. And I had a sense of relief. I didn’t have to consider my choices or worry about what to do. I just needed to obey.

I took a deeper breath, my lips turning up at the corners in a half-smile. He released my chin as I replied, “Yes, Sir, you are very clear, Sir. And I will remember.”

“Remember what?” he prompted.

“Remember that – I just – I just need to obey, that the question for me is – um – how to obey in a way that pleases you? Right?”

He nodded. “I’m glad we’ve cleared that up. Another time, I might have you write lines as a reminder, or contemplate your goals with some corner time. Today, I need you to step far enough out of your submission to be able to consider and consent to the role I’m asking you to take on at this retreat. I can’t have you in ‘yes, sir, whatever you say, sir,” mode for that. So we’re going to my office and I’ll ask you to go through the options with my assistant, Ms. Kirsty.”

And with that, he led me out the door, and walked me down the hall to his office.

*******************

Ms. Kirsty was older than me, warm and welcoming. She insisted I drink some water before we began, commenting that ‘you submissive girls tend to neglect yourselves.” She made us both a cup of tea, and I was feeling much more myself by the time we began.

We worked together for a full hour. We reviewed a long list of possible activities, and for each one on the list – from corner time to spanking with a paddle or crop, from full nakedness to anal sex – there was the option to agree to it in private or in public. I could also indicate that something was a soft limit, meaning I might want to do it sometime, or a hard limit, meaning no way, no how.

I might have rushed through the list, without thinking too much about the choices. It all made me a bit nervous and I wanted to get it done. But Ms. Kirsty was quite firm about me pausing at each option to imagine doing that thing with Sir Alex, and then to imagine doing it with him in front of an audience. I struggled to decide on some of the choices – did I really want to have anal sex in front of everybody? and she would firmly suggest that was a soft limit.

“If you’re not sure,” she said, “don’t fully consent. You don’t have to rule it out – you might decide you’d love to do it. But don’t say yes when you’re not sure.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, without even thinking, and she laughed.

By the time we finished, I was tired. And hungry. It felt like a lifetime since breakfast, I could hardly believe it was only lunch time.

Ms. Kirsty let Sir Alex know that we had completed the consent list and he popped in to take a copy from her. “I’ll review this while you’re at lunch,” he said. “And we’ll look at it together afterward. Ms Kirsty, would you take her to lunch, please?”