Rolling with the Resistance

/ olivia

I think of it as a therapy technique. When clients are resistant to change, it’s pointless to argue with them. As a therapist, I would take a step back and just acknowledge that they didn’t actually have to change. Then we could talk about what would happen if they stayed on the same path they were on.

Arguing with them was pointless. Arguing just creates more resistance.

I know that. And I was once considered the Queen of Being Able to Roll with Resistance.

It’s time to apply that to myself. For years – 5 actual years – I’ve been trying to make myself become an expert marketer for myself, dancing with the challenge endlessly. To be brutally honest, I have not made any actual progress in getting clients on my own. It’s unfortunate, because I’m a really good coach. But the marketing stuff? I just don’t do it. And you can’t expect it to work if you don’t share what you’re doing.

Fortunately, I am able to see a fairly steady stream of clients through an organization I work for, with no marketing on my end.

So what if I just quit trying to build a business? Not just this month, but ever.

I have been like jmdragoo’s comment on my post “On Strike.” They suggested I might be thinking: “I’m reaching a point where I know my time is shrinking But I can’t just roll over and except this. That the end isn’t acceptable. I have too many grand things to accomplish before the night. I have not yet began to dim in brightness, but I feel soon, my light isn’t going to illuminate what it did?”

Yes. That is exactly what I’ve been wrestling with. That has kept me stuck in this battle to show up in the world.

But what if i just let that go?

What if I decide that my legacy lives in the thousands of clients I’ve already worked with? Maybe that’s enough.

In her last comnent, nijntje mentioned listening to her body and mind, and how that helps her recover from too much peopling better than if she doesn’t listen to herself. I KNOW this is true.

And really, I’ve mostly just been feeling guilty about not doing more for a while. Not actually doing anything. Frittering away my time and feeling guilty.

I’m not making money cause no one pays me to feel guilty. If they did, whew, I could be super wealthy.

So if I’m going to fritter, let me embrace it.

I have all kinds of dangling projects that I can work on. Maybe I’ll make real progress on them. Maybe I’ll increases my self-care, do things one-mindfully, commune with nature more, spend more time with my grandkids, do more things with Sir X… Or maybe I’ll just fritter my time away – whole-heartedly.

It will be interesting to see what I choose to do…

Photo by Kaique Rocha on Pexels.com

8 thoughts on “Rolling with the Resistance”

  2. I have an attitude with work that is very much serves a purpose. I have a child with ambitions, a mortgage and other expenses and my work serves that function. However during my relapse the May before Covid happened, the question was raised, was working worth the toll it was taking on me? Ultimately I decided yes and I decided to keep on going. What you need to realise perhaps is that you are also someone you should help and focusing on you and your wants and needs is not frittering anything. If you are in a position to prioritise yourself rather than work, you should at least think of it, the end of work is not the end of you or your value.

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Yeah, that makes sense – that you decided to keep going. I don’t mind working – it’s this “building a business” and “marketing yourself” thing that has worn me down. I had this fantasy that I would create something that would be the culmination of a fruitful career.

      However, you’re right. Taking care of myself also matters. And maybe what I’ve done – and am doing – is enough. We’ll see.

      Thanks for sharing your insight!! 💜

      Liked by 1 person

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    • Yes! I have that book. I read the first half of it. Loved it.

      Um, I might have quit reading about the time she wanted us to start trying some things ourselves. I’ve been known to do that. Maybe this is a good time to revisit it.

      Thanks for commenting and for the reminder! 💜

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  4. Hi Olivia, it seems to me you enjoy the working with people part, but not the administrating and marketing side. I say if you dont need the extra business that marketing may bring content yourself with helping people through the organisation you work for and quit the idea of growing your business and focus on those other projects. Do what makes you happy 😊

    Hugs,

    Roz

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • You know what? That’s almost exactly what I’m thinking. I would definitely need the money if I were going to try to make enough to retire in the US. But since I’m planning on moving and truly retiring in a couple of years, I don’t think there’s enough time and that it would be worth it.

      Yep. Do what makes me happy. There’s a concept! Thanks!! 💜

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