I know, I’m always writing about joy these days. It’s a lot better than the Days of Whining and Misery, isn’t it?

But I’ve been thinking today about TTWD. The urban dictionary says: “TTWD stands for “This Thing We Do” and is often used by the bdsm/kink community to describe non-vanilla practices or activities they may engage in, such as spanking, flogging, bondage, roleplay, power exchange etc.”

The broader context of TTWD gives me a feeling of community and shared experience, right? And youall probably know how much that appeals to me. The community of bloggers, readers, commenters, and lurkers is dear to my heart. I feel so much affection for you – individually and collectively. 

The other meaning of TTWD is the actual practices and such that are part of my submissive experience.  Part of the pleasure of BDSM for me is the process of exploring, discovering, and defining the things that we do together in this realm. It’s an ever-changing landscape and brings me lots of joy. I don’t think it’s ever completely defined or settled – and isn’t that part of the fun? 

There are a whole lot of moving parts in my life right now. The relationship between me and Sir Jon is settled in that he is my Sir, I am his submissive. His Antoinette is also – well, his – in whatever way they’re defining that. {👋 Hi, Antoinette!}. But beyond that –

Sir and I are exploring what he wants/we want to do together, in so many ways. Our relationship has become more “real” than I ever dreamed it could be, and enriches my life everyday. 

AND Sir X and I are re-building our relationship, which is lovely and exciting. It doesn’t lessen my relationship with Sir Jon; if anything, it enhances it. And it adds a different aspect to my own life. Navigating that relationship has its own challenges and pleasures.

Getting to know people in the local community is a whole other new thing, spinning in its own orbit. What do I want from that? What will I get? Is that really what I want? So many questions and possibilities.

In my meditation group today, we were focusing on joy. It was the perfect topic for me, since I seem to be bubbling with it. At the end, our guide read this quote, which has tremendous personal meaning for me. So of course, I had to share it with you. This is really at the heart of how I experience life…  

“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”
― Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times