There are still things I want to talk about: - what is strength and do submissives have it and how does that work? Something about vulnerability, something about whether submission is a gift or not – and probably more. But after some comments Nora and I exchanged over on her blog, Finding Strength in my Submission, I wanted to share a fantasy snippet.

”Quiet,” he said. He was smiling, but she knew he meant it. 

Olivia bit her lip, stifling the urge to ask again, “But where are we going, Sir?” A little shiver of pleasure ran through her. In the act of silencing her, he had contained her again. She felt herself held steady by his directives. His hand encircled her wrist firmly, forcing her to keep pace with him as he led her down the sidewalk. 

That hand on her wrist made her feel small and quite obedient. It reminded her that she had agreed to this, and was not free to change her mind. 

She was still thinking about her decision to commit to this – whatever “this” turned out to be – as he hustled her up the stairs of a pleasant brick two-story house. On the porch, she barely had time to notice the flower boxes or purple shutters before the door opened.

An attractive woman, maybe in her 30s, stood in the doorway. “Come in!” she said, as she stepped back and gestured for them to enter. Olivia saw that the woman was wearing a corset, laced quite tightly, which cinched in her waist and lifted her breasts so that the nipples were barely covered. She was wearing a short skirt, so short that Olivia could see the garters holding up her sheer stockings with a back seam. Olivia felt a bit jealous at the way this outfit highlighted the other woman’s lovely figure. She felt rather dowdy and overdressed next to her. But the woman, who was really quite beautiful, smiled at her and nodded in such a friendly way that Olivia felt reassured.  

Olivia’s Sir, nodded to the other woman, “Nora. Here she is,” and he pushed Olivia forward a bit as if presenting her for approval. “Your Sir said you would be here today – I was pleased to hear that. I think you can guide her through this very effectively.”

“Yes,” Nora said, “It’s been my turn to serve here this week. Today is my last day, so I’m glad I will be here to handle Olivia.” Looking Olivia up and down in a way that made Olivia feel quite squirmy, Nora smiled at her again. “Look at you,” she said, “Beautiful! And you’ll be even lovelier before you leave here today. But come on, let’s get your clothes off so we can get started.”

Olivia would have protested but Sir Jon was watching her closely and she remembered that she had agreed to do as she was told. She felt quite uncomfortable and unsure of what was expected of her, but Nora just said, “Here, start with your top, just pull it off, that’s it, let me take it.”

Olivia, feeling exposed in her bra, started to cover herself, crossing her arms so that her chest was covered. Nora smiled, but Sir Jon frowned at her and shook his head once. Still reluctant, Olivia dropped her arms to her sides. 

“Oh, that’s better,” said Nora,”look how pretty you are,” and quickly, before Olivia could protest, Nora had the front clasp of her bra unhooked. “There you go,” Nora went on, so soothingly that Olivia felt calmer immediately. The air was cool on her breasts and the nipples puckered. She might have covered herself again, but Sir Jon caught her eye and raised an eyebrow at her. That was sufficient warning to keep her hands in place.

“Come on, skirt off, now,” Nora urged. She was holding the sweater and bra that Olivia had removed, and with a graceful gesture, she took the skirt too as Olivia slipped it off. Sir Jon had not allowed Olivia panties that day, so she was completely bare now, wearing only the heels that elongated her legs and made her hips sway as she walked.

Nora turned and put the clothes in the closet, closing the door with a finality that made Olivia want to beg for them back. She resisted the urge however, and stood naked, wearing only the CFM shoes that Sir Jon preferred.  

And I will stop there. I do have a lot more fantasy written in my head, but I want to sort of let that settle. There is something about writing this with actual names that makes it more intense for me. In my fantasies, a recurrent theme is the idea of there being another woman or two who prepare the main character for the Doms or Masters. 

I don’t think this reveals some hidden bisexuality, although it would be ok if it did, but there is something else about this scenario that draws me to it. And, because Nora has this tiny streak of Domme, (I know, you wouldn’t think it, but I’m convinced it’s there) I wanted to play with the idea of her in that role.

I feel like I could write over here all day. So many posts half-started in my head. For example:

• Strength, for me, has a lot to do with resilience, but starts with being fully authentic, as much as possible, genuine, and living in alignment with my values. Being able to hold that space for myself in the face of life challenges, and coming back to that space when knocked out of it, is my idea of strength.
• Vulnerability is a complex and multi-faceted construct. Willie’s post is a nuanced look at some ways that it works. I am a submissive woman at my core. That is one of many things that can make me vulnerable. For many years, I didn’t have information about being submissive that resonated with me and didn’t know that the world of D/s was a viable option. I tried to submit to men in vanilla relationships. Neither they nor I had a clue what I was doing. That must have been confusing for them, and didn’t work out well for me. Despite years of healing and growth, some of that history is woven into who I am and continues to have an impact. 
• Submission is a gift because we choose to offer it to a particular person, lay it out in ways we hope are pleasing, hope it will be well received and accepted. Submission is not a gift because when we do that, we are just showing up as who we are. But offering somebody who we are is a gift! For that reason, I think that being someone’s Dominant is also a gift. As someone who lived without a Dom for the last 8 years, it certainly feels like an amazing gift to have someone do – well, you know, do all the things.

And I have so much more I want to say! And I will - after my daily check-in message for my Sir that I love to write, breakfast, meditation, some work i get paid to do, a long walk, and some Christmas-y things to do as well,. As Mary Oliver says:

“it is a serious thing 
just to be alive 
on this fresh morning 
in this broken world.”

Take care of yourselves, my friends… 💜