Having backed off from any vanilla relationship possibilities, I turned my attention to the kink dating scene. I signed up for BDSM Seniors (don’t laugh.) Ok, laugh if you want to, but there I was. I couldn’t find any info on what it would cost before I made a profile, so I half-ass threw something together for a profile and put it up.

$35/month, so no thanks. But I got to see a bunch of pictures of dominant men near me. If $35/month didn’t already drive me away, the pictures probably would have. I won’t go into more detail because I don’t want to be mean, but somehow, I expect Doms to have a certain look in their eye, an air in their posture and bearing.

Driven away from that site (although I still get notifications that “someone has eyes on you,” or “someone is gagging to chat,”) I turned to Fetlife. I wandered around a bit looking at people Where-I-Live and found someone who looked interesting. Interesting in that he likes some of the same vanilla things I do and some of the same coffee shops. We’re not actually kink-compatible, but we will probably have coffee at some point and maybe we’ll be friends.

Then I got a message from some 30 year old self-proclaimed Dom. He was like “Hi, How are you?” and I like to be polite, so I responded. “I’m good. How are you?’

Him: What are you looking for?

Me: (after much thought, and discarding responses like, “World peace,” and “looking for love in all the wrong places”) I have no idea. What about you?

Him: May I pleasure you

Now, I don’t want to talk trash about this young man. Maybe he’s new to the scene, and just a bit confused. His profile is new. So I respond.

“That’s a really sweet offer, but no, thank you.

I see on your profile you say you’re a Dominant and want a submissive. Is that right?”

Because I’m thinking that in this context, that is possibly the least Dominant thing he could say.

Him: “Yes possibly but that could change.

Ok, okay, maybe he’s a budding switch. I dunno. But I can’t leave well enough alone.

Me: Ok, cool. How did you get interested in BDSM?

Him: Long story would tell you if you let me pleasure you but why won’t you💔

I’m laughing out loud at this point. But I STILL can’t let it go. So I say:

So, I’m attracted to dominant men. Not all dominant men, but some. But interacting with you does not give me a sense of you being dominant.

I have not heard back, and am fine with that. But just now I went back to look at my profile again (this is the Olivia profile, not my other one.) It is not actually clear that I’m submissive, so perhaps it’s my marketing that’s at fault! 🤣 I do say I’m seeking a dominant, so at least there’s that. I’ll have to update it tomorrow.

In any case, I’m not looking for miracles, just entertaining myself.