I ended my Fetlife exchange with Young Guy mentioning that he did not seem like a dominant.
Perhaps that was insensitive. Although I really did just intend to start a conversation about types of kink. However. The road to hell* and all that. Cause here’s what happened next:
Him: Do you always judge and assume things about people or just me should try me fucking your throat
I thought, YIKES! So I said:
Wow, that turned ugly fast. I’m sorry I offended you, that was not my intent. Please don’t message me again.
To which he replied:
I think we got started off on the wrong foot let’s start over
I have not answered that, and don’t intend to.
My comment probably was a clunky way to start the conversation, (you can read that here if you missed it.) And his level of flare-up anger felt scary. You know, not in an immediate “actually need to be afraid” way, but there was a moment of feeling as if I’d been assaulted. Verbally, of course.
Beyond that, it made me sad. I know that kink is not really about random hookups with strangers. I mean, it can be, but only if it’s consensual. Or something like that. I already told him “no.” I think he’s confused being aggressive with being dominant and being a jerk with being a Dom.
And confused altogether because “May I pleasure you” is still not a typical way for a Dom to start the conversation.
Ugh, why am I wasting my emotional energy on the situation?
Oh, that’s right, I’m dumping it here so I can walk away from it! Thanks for being there…
*In case you don’t know the whole quote: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”