So, this thing happened and, as is sometimes the case, this is still the best place to share it.

So I’d been feeling the lack of relationship and struggling with what to do. I had joined this FB group for caregivers that was really helpful in giving me some perspective on my life and my situation. Well, the other day, someone started talking about the lack of sex and romance and what to do about it, and that got a lot of responses. It ended with them saying they were going to start a separate group for people who were interested in being discretely involved with someone else.

I’m thinking, oh, cool, nothing to lose, let’s join that group too and see what happens. So I do.

Only of course nothing actually happens. We do some posts, share some stories, but there’s only like 15 people on there. Not exactly Tinder for Caregivers. And that’s ok, you know.

But then I get a message from the guy that started the group. Nice “how you doing” kind of exchange that moves very quickly into:

I wanted to just make you the offer of helping you via phone sex, if you want. It’s entirely up to you, as you feel comfortable. But if you want to, I am here.

Ok, nice enough, so I say thanks for the offer, I’ll keep it in mind, thinking “nah.” That totally doesn’t appeal to me. I mean, really? He’s going to make the offer of helping me? No, no thanks.

But then he responds:

I sense that you’re thinking Yes () So just to help with planning, I work 2nd shift, 3 to 11 pm. Hopefully we can find & plan a good time.

Well, that’s when I started giggling. I’m thinking, oh, baby, no, clearly your sensor is not working at all!

Of course, the arrogance is kind of amazing. Or the disrespect for me, maybe. Just like the guy that thought I’d be happy to have him because he was willing to drive a few hours for me. It is quite possible to want sex and not to feel desperate enough to jump at any possible opportunity like it’s the last lifeboat off the Titanic. Silly people.

Other than that, I’ve started doing Noom and have lost four pounds. Not real quickly, but for real. And I think I’m changing my life. I’m developing some new habits and new ways of relating to food. AND I’m not snacking mindlessly on empty carbs. So life is good. Hope yours is too!