This is one of my favorite terms – don’t ask me why. Or, you can ask me, but I don’t know why. It’s just so delightfully descriptive.

I had to look it up, of course, to make sure I knew what it meant. I found this definition:

Hot mess is used to describe a particularly disorganized person or chaotic situation. In some uses, a person described as a hot mess is attractive but just barely keeping it together.

Yes. That is exactly what it means to me! Today, I kind of feel like I’m a hot mess.

Ok, I’m not REALLY. Probably not really. Or – I dunno. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. If I am a hot mess, it is definitely in an attractive way, so that’s something.

My sense of self feels like an accordion. I’m not actually a fan of accordion music, not usually. But all that in- and-out-ness is pretty much how I feel. Some kind of rhythm of ok- not ok – ok – not ok… Here’s one example of some terrific accordion music. See what you think. {Zydeco a Pas Sale, Jeffery Broussard & the Creole Cowboys}

But my favorite accordion music can be found here: {Squeeze Box, The Who}

Anyhow. I suspect that some of y’all will be kind enough to say that I’m not a hot mess, but you haven’t heard the evidence. Let’s take a look at it.

• I’m not exercising
• I’m not eating healthy/ not controlling glucose level well
• I’m not drinking enough water
• I’m really random about when I blog and don’t blog (that’s not actually wrong, just messy.)
• I’m sporadic about keeping in touch with people
• I’m not meditating or practicing much mindfulness
• I’m not playing with my tarot cards, or learning more about them
• I signed up for the SafeworD/s club and got off to a rousing start and then just dropped off.
• I think about doing things and then they just fall off my radar and I don’t even notice they’re gone.

You get the picture? I am, indeed, a bit of a hot mess. Attractive, but just barely keeping it together. The good news/bad news is I don’t actually care! In fact, I’m kind of embracing my hot mess-ness. So to speak. No plan for redemption, just wallowing.

In more good news, I am working a lot and making ends meet and can maybe pay off my credit card debt before 2022. So I’m not a complete mess. Just a bit of a hot mess.

{Picture says “You’re a hot mess.” “At least I’m a fun hot mess. Like a train wreck full of pizza, fireworks, and glitter.}