Just Here for the Sex

Last night, before I heard that RBG had died, I was thinking about why I needed to come back to my blog. Yes, it gives me space to write and think, but I could have started a new vanilla blog annonymously that could have done the same thing. Y’all would not have been there so that would have been sad, but it’s not just that.

I had to come back here, to Olivia, because this is all that’s left of my submissive self, and really, of my sexual self. I had to come back here because y’all know that about me – know who I am. Youall see me. That’s why I came back.

The part of myself that loves to kneel… the part that serves… the part that longs to be spanked… the part that want to submit. Those parts of me are only still (barely) alive here. Even my fantasies live here.

I cried last night when I saw that RBG had died. I’m still processing this loss for our country and feeling a bit numb about it. I feel sad that she had no opportunity to step down and live with a sense of accomplishment for what she’d done. I feel sad for the future, I have a real sense of (more) impending doom and that makes me sad.

And yet life goes on, will go on, the wheel keeps turning and the seasons of our lives come and go…

9 thoughts on “Just Here for the Sex

  1. For a brief time, I started a “vanilla” blog….it just wasn’t the same. Who I am here in this space, is who I am. While I choose not to show my kink to the rest of the world, I feel at home here, amongst people who understand. There is much freedom in that ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeah, it is not the same without you. Even though i am blessed we text, and that we could talk except that it would just makes us annoyed that we are too far away to be walking on the beach together. And with all of that, its not the same without your presence here. The energy is different everywhere else when you aren’t denying yourself in any way. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Olivia,

    I’m so glad to hear your voice again in blogland. Yeah, I don’t think a vanilla blog would be the same.

    The loss of RGB is a very sad loss. Huge shoes to fill.


    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi, Roz – Thank you again, and no, a vanilla blog would definitely not be the same. Actually, I already have a vanilla blog that I don’t ever use.

      It is a sad, and I don’t think there’s anyone who can fill her shoes at this point. Thanks for the hugs…


  4. I don’t know about a vanilla blog, I’m just not that interesting. Lol. It’s challenging even being my authentic self here now at times. Some days I convince myself it is due to hormonal disturbances that comes with aging. Other days, I just don’t know… definitely a different vibe alround.

    As for RBG, I think we have to view her footsteps rather than her shoes. It will take the work of many following the path she created.

    Liked by 1 person

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