Last night, before I heard that RBG had died, I was thinking about why I needed to come back to my blog. Yes, it gives me space to write and think, but I could have started a new vanilla blog annonymously that could have done the same thing. Y’all would not have been there so that would have been sad, but it’s not just that.
I had to come back here, to Olivia, because this is all that’s left of my submissive self, and really, of my sexual self. I had to come back here because y’all know that about me – know who I am. Youall see me. That’s why I came back.
The part of myself that loves to kneel… the part that serves… the part that longs to be spanked… the part that want to submit. Those parts of me are only still (barely) alive here. Even my fantasies live here.
I cried last night when I saw that RBG had died. I’m still processing this loss for our country and feeling a bit numb about it. I feel sad that she had no opportunity to step down and live with a sense of accomplishment for what she’d done. I feel sad for the future, I have a real sense of (more) impending doom and that makes me sad.
And yet life goes on, will go on, the wheel keeps turning and the seasons of our lives come and go…