It was so nice to get such a warm welcome back yesterday. Thanks to everyone who visited and special thanks for the comments. It was like a homecoming.

I was dropping in on different people’s blogs last night and was surprised to see some of the changes going on. Fondles dad is in the hospital, abby hasn’t posted since May, mouse had her appendix burst and almost died, Eric and Amy moved away and haven’t blogged lately… Of course, if you’ve been around, you already knew that. This is only news to me.

And some things haven’t changed. David is still posting thoughtful ruminations, bleu is finding her way to the life she wants, jade is managing school and SR and sooo much more, and Jz still posts the best Star Trek memes and examples of dance ever. Lots of people I still need to go visit in the cyber world, and I’m looking forward to it.

Things have changed in my world, but not much. MP retired. I guess that’s the biggest news. He still spends most of his time in his office, but not working – he listens to the news and watches TV and movies. He goes places more and seems to be enjoying it, so that’s all good.

Other than that – you know, I’m older, fatter, less physically fit… and hoping to turn some of that around. Although, I’m pretty sure that hope has nothing to do with it. Work!! That’s what’s needed here!!! {Bursts into laughter… whatever…}

Anyhow. Here’s an article you might like – Why I ditched my therapist to hire a dominatrix instead. Apparently, unlike an actual coach, a dominatrix will just flat out tell you what to do. Oh, wait, I guess that’s not really surprising! But it’s interesting. The author had a less than stellar experience with a therapist and says:

I quit therapy because I needed help from someone who knew what they were doing, and possibly even more importantly, who knew what I was doing, or what I should be doing. I didn’t want another therapist; I wanted someone to just tell me what to do, who could kick my ass and tell me to cut the bullshit. I wanted motivation, advice and accountability from a woman who spanks grown men for a living.

And it makes me think about some of my own clients, who seem to be floundering, unmotivated and miserable. The author says:

I’d finally found someone who could do what I always wished my therapists would: just tell me what to do. The idea of paying a gorgeous, confident woman to boss me around was exciting and terrifying, and I was ready to do as I was told.

And even though I feel like I’m different from the author – I see myself on the other side of the coach -coachee equation – in some ways this is equally true for me

I don’t lack the agency to think for myself, or work productively without direct supervision and instruction. I do, however, enjoy being told what to do, which is something I’d always been somewhat ashamed to admit. I love mean, beautiful women, and I love when they boss me around.

Unlike my previous therapists, my dominatrix life coach isn’t afraid to hurt my feelings – she’s brutally honest and has no time for my excuses. Nothing makes me feel so fully seen like a woman telling me that I need to get my life together because she believes I can be better, because she’s decided that for now at least, I’m worth her valuable time. I’m happy to please her, and to pay her for everything she offers – her attention, her encouragement and her punishment.

When I read that, one thing I notice is an slight pull to BE a “beautiful, mean woman.” That actually sounds like it might be fun. I’ve never given free reign to the idea of bossing anyone around – maybe I’d be really good at it!

But beyond that is a stronger sense of “oh, yeah, I remember how nice it is to let go of responsibility and focus on obeying and pleasing. ” Maybe that’s part of what people are feeling when they talk about wanting to be children again. In any case, it was an interesting article and I thought youall might have some thoughts about it too.

And what’s new with you? Have things changed, have you changed? What’s going on?