Not the kind of dreams that come true – the kind you have when you’re asleep. I’ve had weird dreams three nights in a row, although I only remember two of them.
“I have dreamt in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind. And this is one: I’m going to tell it – but take care not to smile at any part of it.”
― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
So the first night, I dreamt I was working in restaurants again – a specific restaurant that I used to actually work in with a specific manager who I used to have. I’ll call him Mario. In this dream, I got promoted to management. Nobody told me exactly what that meant or what I was supposed to do. But Mario kept coming to me and telling me I was spending time with the wrong people, the people I was meeting with weren’t the ones I needed to be talking to.
Last night, I dreamt that – I don’t know. The first part of it is kind of hazy. But somehow it was like I was coming back from a different country, or maybe a different world, and I realized I needed a high school diploma to do what I wanted to do. So I went back to high school. That was pretty much a nightmare, as high schools are, and it was expensive and I hated it and then I started missing classes… and it was weird and miserable.
Then I suddenly decided “screw this,” I already have a college degree (which I had somehow forgotten.) I thought, “I don’t need this high school thing – even if I never graduated, I’ve got a college degree – oh, wait, I’ve got TWO colleges degrees, a BA and an MA. They can’t take that away from me. I do not need to go back to school. If I have to do anything, if there’s something missing, I’ll get my GED.”
But once I decided that, I realized that I had ALREADY graduated from high school, years ago!! I didn’t need to be there at all.
So it seems like a clear message to me. (Although I’m probably wrong, dreams aren’t usually a clear message. But still.) My subconscious seems to be telling me that I’m not doing what I need to be doing, somehow I’m approaching it wrong, putting my energy in the wrong direction.
That doesn’t mean I know what to do instead. I don’t know what the right direction will be. I think I need to move into a process of discernment and see what comes up. Or ask my dreaming self tonight what I should be doing!!
I did this whole post thinking Spring Solstice was tomorrow! But no. It’s today. Which is super exciting, cause I love spring!!