FFF 7-13-18 (late again, damnit)

Reporting in today – in bad news, I’m still not exercising or walking like i need to.  The days slip by and suddenly it’s evening and i’m looking at 2,500 steps on my fitbit and shrugging, oh, well, tomorrow’s another day…

In good news – i hit a new weight range just since last week. The 158’s showed up on my scale.  We’re looking at 158.2 – 161.  That’s pretty exciting!

In other good news – i got my 3 month lab results back and my glucose level was just under the diagnosis of diabetes! That’s right.  I’m now at high risk for diabetes instead of being about a point and a half over the line into diabetes.

I am particularly pleased about this – on top of just being pleased for its own sake – because it follows on an unpleasant experience at my doctor’s office.  I went in thinking he’d be pleased with my 10 pound weight loss and lower glucose readings, although we didn’t have the A1C (the 3 month test) yet.

Instead, he was super negative and told me different standards for the readings than the nurse practitioner had told me that put my readings in a more negative light.  I had brought in a blood pressure cuff for him to check for accuracy (one that Sir’s cardiologist had said was accurate) and he was dismissive of the cuff before he even checked it.  (“We can check it, but that doesn’t look like the kind that’s going to do what we need it to do.)

When I had first gotten there, the nurse took my blood pressure and it was good.  After about 10 minutes with the doctor, after I was pretty upset, he took it again and it was up.  He was patronizing and condescending about that, and when I said something about it having been lower earlier in the visit, he said that the nurse’s reading had probably not been accurate because I was so overweight, my arm was too thick to get an accurate reading.

Y’all.  Yes, I am obese. But my arm is not the thickest arm around by any means.  If I’m too fat to get an accurate blood pressure reading, I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in that.  And really – if they can’t get an accurate reading, why are they even checking it??

They told me to check my blood pressure with the cuff I had brought in so they could see if it was accurate, and I started to do that.  The nurse took it off the arm I’d put it on and strapped it to the other arm.  Then she held my arm so I couldn’t move it.  This cuff has a light sensor that lets you know when your arm is in the right position to get a reading, and she wouldn’t let me move my arm to adjust it, and when I tried to explain, neither of them acknowledged that I was even talking, she just said to him, “I’m not getting any warm fuzzies about this cuff,” in a real disparaging tone, and I gave up and let her take it off.

The visit went downhill from there, if you can imagine, with more conversation about why my BP might be high and the state of the country.  It ended with him telling me I needed to quit watching the news so much so I wouldn’t be upset about things I couldn’t control.  He did not actually pat me on the head, or tell me not to worry my pretty little head about it, it just felt like he did.  Oh, and he told me maybe I needed therapy for my anger problem.

Let me be clear.  I was angry.  I didn’t yell, I didn’t call him names or cuss at him.  But when I checked my records on-line a few days later?   As I suspected, he had added “Anger Outbursts” to my list of diagnosis.  For the record, having feelings and getting diagnosed with anger outbursts are not the same thing.

I came home from the appointment all upset.  Fortunately, I was able to make an appointment with another doctor and have just been waiting to get the lab results back before I requested they send my records to the new place.   I really do think the doctor I’ve been seeing is a condescending, patronizing jerk who embodies the worst aspects of the patriarchy.

At the same time, I recognize that my reactions to him may be heightened based on some early childhood experiences with being in the hospital.  As it is, just remembering my appointment with him, I can feel my heart rate go up and my chest feels tight and my breathing gets shallow – as if I might be on the verge of a panic attack,    I’m pretty sure that’s too extreme a reaction for just remembering this doctor’s appointment.  I might come back and talk about how I think this links to that early childhood trauma in the hospital, but for now, I just console myself with the knowledge that I’m a grown up and fortunate enough to have good insurance and a bit of money so I don’t have to tolerate this doctor’s attitude any more.

Anyhow.  Thanks for reading this very non-kinky post.  Next time, I’ll tell you about date night and the benefits of a good spanking.  (In case you didn’t already know!)



14 thoughts on “FFF 7-13-18 (late again, damnit)

  1. Hi Olivia,

    That is such fantastic news on both the weight and diabetes fronts! So happy for you 🙂

    Oh my, I’m sorry you had such an awful experience at the doctors. To be treated that way is just appalling. I’m glad you have found another doctor.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. You did exactly the right thing, Olivia … dumped his ass and found someone else. And many people, including Frank, get ‘white coat’ high blood pressure … yes it’s a recognized condition … another reason your old doc is an ass … he should have known better.

    Kudos on the diet progress … you’ll get there in the walking dept … maybe take up beach walking … beaches fix everything ;))) …. hugs! … nj

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, NJ, I appreciate the support! Although – actually, according to my ex-doctor, they don’t believe in “white coat” syndrome anymore. Shrug – whatever… every other doctor i’ve ever seen does.

      Beach walking is my favorite thing to do!! Whenever I talk about going to catch the sunrise, that’s what I’m there doing. So yes to that!! And hugs!


  3. I’m with NJ – beaches fix everything. Besides, walking on sand is “better” than walking on paved road. Something about the softness of the ground requiring your body to use more of its core muscles to remain balanced.

    also, yes, White Coat Syndrome is very real, and you HAVE to believe me cos i work at a clinic right? right.

    Have you already been diagnosed with DM? and are you on medication for it? or have you just been advised to get your weight down and eat fewer simple carbs?

    If you want some simple eating tips on DM control feel free to email.

    The new weight range is great. don’t fret too much if you’re not losing too quickly as the body takes time to remember its new weight zone. as long as you’re not creeping back up it’s all good. Besides, a 2-3kg fluctuation is pretty normal, from what I hear from women. Men dont seem to have this same range of fluctuation. That’s 4.4 to 6.6 pounds.

    I’m so glad you found a different doctor. That previous one ought to get written up to the medical board. Or soundly spanked!


    • Yep, totally with you on beach walking – I love doing it!!

      Yes – diagnosed in Feb – and yes – but just 500 mg of Metafomin 1 x/day. I failed the “lose weight and exercise more” advice that I got for years – and once I started taking the Metaformin, I quit having most of the huge food cravings I’d struggled with for years. So yeah.

      I am always open to new tips, but believe me, I’m on my way to “expert” already!!

      Oh – yeah, I’m not worried about my weight at this point. I finally moved off my plateau and my range is dropping every couple of weeks, so that’s all good.

      I”m really excited about my new doctor. It’s a whole different model of care – she doesn’t take insurance, I pay her $X every month, which covers labs a couple of times/year and seeing her as often as I want/need to. She can work with me on my health goals – will have more time to spend in sessions, doesn’t need to meet insurance company expectations – it will be different. I’m glad I’ve already made a lot of progress before starting with her, but I really do want to get serious about getting healthier…

      Spanking is too good for my ex-doctor. Lol. Seriously, he was really angry with me for not coming in with the appropriately deferential attitude. That’s fine, I guess – I”m just too old to deal with that sh*t. I think he’s used to patients who are old and not tech savvy and expect their doctor to be a bit god-like. So maybe I’m too young for that sh*t! Lol…

      Thanks, Fondles. ❤


  4. Ok, that doctor was waaaaaaay out of line, and I’m glad you’ve already found another one.
    I remember you saying you’re relatively short, but there is absolutely no way at 158 pounds would your arm too big for a blood pressure cuff. None. And if by some small chance it was for a regular cuff, then any doctor’s office will have the cuff for larger people.
    God, I hate doctors being condescending asses.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol, you’re right, my arm is not too fat for the blood pressure cuff. He was angry with me for not being as deferential as he thought I should be. I think he wanted me to quit discussing my medical condition – ok, maybe I was arguing – and, imo, he wanted to shame me into shutting up. And yes. I really hate doctors being condescending. I am really just grateful that I have options. And thanks for the support!! ❤


  5. Darling Olivia, Please do not name a post “late again” as I was certain this doctors tale was going to end with you coming up pregnant!! Hope you got a chuckle out of that thought. Agree with all – dump that guy. What an ass.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol, Amy – I did get a chuckle out of that! Being pregnant again is one thing I for sure don’t have to worry about – I love that you in your head I’m young enough for that to be a possibility!! And thanks for the support!


  6. Hi. I’m playing catch-up so to speak.

    I know this was months ago, but I’m seething on your behalf. You’re under 160 lbs, and if they think that’s too big to get a cuff around, they’re seriously deranged. I’m nearly 190 at the moment, and its not a problem.

    Liked by 1 person

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