Ok, the song is when i’m 64, and i’m not going to be 64 for a couple more years. But I am about to turn 62 in a few short weeks. And still appraising and re-appraising my life.
“We have not yet arrived, but every point at which we stop requires a re-definition of our destination.”
— Ben Okri, Tales of Freedom
Yesterday, i did a belly dance video. When I say “did” i mean i followed it. Um, danced to it. (check my FFF goal!) It was definitely a beginners video. Just walked us through the steps. i managed to feel a bit irritated with myself when i couldn’t follow the all moves.
I haven’t done one single shimmy in about 5 years and i still had to remind myself several times that i wasn’t supposed to be able to do it as well as I once did immediately. Then i vacillated between “i’m going to be that amazing 70 year old woman who can belly dance,” and “i’m the most ridiculous belly dancer ever.” Reminded myself that really none of that matters. And just enjoyed doing what it as well as i could.
Then i went out last night with MP to watch the game -yes, the football game, which is pretty meaningless to me because I don’t watch football and don’t appreciate the commercials and we left at half-time. This morning, it occurred to me that just being there was still supporting the NFL Drat, that was not my intention. Sigh.
i also drank about 3 glasses of wine and ate more than i needed to, so let’s hope i can do better today.
Where is my spanking when i need it?
No, i’m no closer to that goal – receiving some expert spanking – than i was months ago, or not much closer. Well, maybe an inch or two closer, but more on that another time. The only thing stopping me at this point is me.
I am, however, feeling more like Hecate every day. So that’s kinda cool