i saw on someone’s blog (i’m sorry, don’t remember whose) that she was having trouble being submissive after the election – that she thinks this is a time to be strong. And i thought ~~ yes, oh, yes ~~ and
~~ being submissive is strong. Being submissive makes us stronger.
i think. Doesn’t it?
But i’ve never been submissive where my Dom really told me what to do. i mean, beyond minor things. i don’t guess for real i ever would be. If i try to picture myself making career decisions based on what someone else thought was best, or having my spiritual beliefs dictated by someone else? No. Can’t see it. Not financial choices either. Input, yes, sure, but i have to follow my own path.
i don’t know if i even exactly remember what it’s about for me.
But it wasn’t about being “less than.” It wasn’t about that.
So sending love to whoever that was who was worried about it. Because you can be submissive and still want to crush the patriarchy. i’m convinced that’s true.
Love and light to you all.
Olivia 
Hey Olivia…have been in two DD relationships. Neither one told me what to think or believe. I was submissive in that they led but they did have my input and I was able to respectfully disagree with their views. I valued their opinions regarding my career…sometimes they had a viewpoint I hadn’t considered. That’s my 2 cents worth. 😉
Hugs and blessings…Cat
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Yes. Thanks. That’s how I think it is for most of us. 😏
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I can see how it feels like a struggle. At times I have questioned, if I am submissive to him, how does that affect to the outside? I think it took time to realize I can still be vocal and active for my causes, and his doormat. In our CNC dynamic, I have yielded on career choice, on where to live on and plenty of other things.
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And of course it depends on how you both want the relationship to be defined – or how he wants it, in your case. What you say though – about your actions outside the relationship – that’s what i meant. Yes. ❤
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I live a D/s life with my husband. I do not live a TPE though. There are areas at this time where I still make decisions, though mostly I run things through him. On most things I yield, as Bleue said. If I strongly believe in something I will fight tooth and nail for it however.
As far as being strong, I think maybe I understand what she meant. When we are ‘in our zone’ with this D/s stuff, it is wonderful and difficult. Wonderful because all walls are down, difficult because all walls are down! LOL. There is such a strong sense of self and that is beyond fantastic, but….small but….emotions can lay right at the surface. Not in a bad way, urgh I’m not explaining this right! Happiness flows out of every pore, but empathy for others, fear for them pours out of every pore too, in a way that can’t be shut off and tucked away when you need to focus on other things. Does that make sense? It is wonderful in its own way, but can be distracting.
I also think depending on the experience level of the individual with this stuff, it can be alarming, and the initial reaction would be to run away from it as opposed to plunging through it and trying to see how it fits in your life.
willie
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That does make sense, and thanks for sharing your experience. i’m not sure that i understand what you’re saying about empathy and not being able to shut it off – and i wonder if our experience with this is a mirror image of each other’s – but then i’m not sure cause i’m sure i understand what you’re saying. If THAT makes sense. For me, i think the experience of being deep in a D/s relationship helps me focus more effectively outside the relationship. i feel like i am often walking around with a surfeit of empathy that can get in my way, and D/s helps me stay grounded so i’m not distracted by that. Lots to think about here – thank you SO much for commenting!!! ❤
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Interesting. There was a time I wondered (and worried) if submissiveness equated to weakness. Nash laughed at the idea. He likes that I am a strong woman. I can hold my own in any given situation. That said, I’ve found that I’m stronger rather than weaker because of my submission to him. I’m not sure I can really explain and I imagine it’s somewhat different for each of us. But, being able to let him lead requires strength. Being able to be so vulnerable requires strength. Nash values my input, my opinions, my ideas. He and I think quite differently many times. We come at all sorts of things from different angles. And yet, we are often very much in sync after all these years. I’ve not lost my voice, I’ve not lost myself and Nash wouldn’t want me to. *tossing my 2 cents in*
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Hi, Lilli,
Thanks so much for commenting!! Yes, that sounds more like my experience, fwiw. That being able to be submissive within the context of the relationship makes me stronger. Thanks again!!
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