You will not be surprised to learn that i desire this state:

“A balanced inner calmness radiates from a peaceful centre. It neither craves others’ approval nor rejects others’ presence. It neither pulls towards nor pushes away. It has a reverent attitude towards life and all its inhabitants.”

― Donna Goddard, The Love of Devotion

Nor shocked to be assured that i haven’t achieved it.  But i’m closer to it than i was five years ago.  Or ten.

 i’m coming down from a fairly brutal work week – not the whole week, but the last part of it was rough, and i’m still evaluating how it went.  Catching myself judging myself, and sometimes others, harshly, feeling angry toward people who didn’t do things the way that would have most helpful to me.  Taking these words to heart:

“Remember, everyone you meet is really trying to do the best they can. No one woke up today and intentionally decided to be mean, difficult, or unreasonable – including you.”

~~ John Bruna

My work schedule is going to get lighter in the next few months, and i’m looking forward to that.  Trying to lay the groundwork for using some of that time to attend to self-care.

(Happiness is not a matter of intensity, but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony.)

Woke up too early today – like 3:30 this morning – and couldn’t go back to sleep.  Went ahead and got up about 4:00, but now i’m ready to go back to bed.  So i guess i’ll do that now…