Moving into the last day of the quote challenge – i actually found three quotes i liked.
“Open your mind. See the world in all its splendid color. Truly look at the uniqueness of the people around you and cherish the nuances. Before you make judgments of others and their lifestyles, always remember that there are a million ways to live and love and be loved, and no one way is right or wrong.”
― Ella Dominguez
“D/s can be dangerous, because it explores the most primitive sides of ourselves. Those involved must have a high degree of trust and very, very healthy devotion to one another. Like religion, it can be a spiritually enlightening experience, or it an expression of psychosis. And somewhere in between, it can be tremendously fun.”
― Joey W. Hill
“In my eyes, BDSM is not a sexual experience, it’s a spiritual connection.”
― Simon Shroud
It is check-in Sunday, and i haven’t met any of my goals. i’ve been traveling for several days, got to meet one of my heroes, and have been generally going with the flow rather than trying to improve myself.
The days are long and full but the weeks fly by.
This week, i’m resigned to the lack of sexual activity in my life, and the lack of D/s or involvement with anything remotely resembling BDSM. i’m thinking that it might be more helpful to focus on loving my partner. {This is the dance we do, isn’t it monkey?}
But when ‘nilla was visiting – well, after she left – she pointed out that she could still see my submission in the acts of service that i do. That make me think.
i don’t know how i feel about that.
i’m not sure it matters much how i feel about it.
i don’t know.
In any case, i’ve discovered a new author who i think i’ll enjoy – Felicity Brandon – and i’m off to read one of her books now. i’ll do a review when i’m finished.
Olivia 
i’m doing the dance too, and my entire life is taken up with the dance. To me, service is an expression of love and respect. i loved the quotes and hope you are enjoying reading and relaxing. Seems to me that you are working on yourself-even if that doesn’t look the way you wanted it to look. 😀
LikeLike
Yes – i think of you as doing the dance of service, absolutely, for sure. i’m doing the dance of resigning myself to a platonic relationship without any connection to BDSM aside from blogs and the option of finding other means of satisfaction. Maybe you are doing that too? Your commitment level seems much greater than mine in some way. And your service level MUCH higher.
Thanks for the kind words on working on myself!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My commitment is *to her,* rather than to what we agree a Master should be doing. My service is how I exhibit and yield to what she does control, even though those things are meaningless in and of themselves, to me. I’m also responding to who I am inside-which is, and always has been, a slave. I don’t know if any of this makes sense or is helpful. I hope so. 💙
LikeLike
It does make sense. i think you and your Master are much more connected still in that way than MP and i are. He doesn’t control anything i do, and doesn’t seem to want to have any control. Even ‘nilla wasn’t suggesting that she saw any indication of dominance from him, and i think that what she interpreted as submission from me was more affection and caring than submission. Assuming there’s a difference. Which i think there is. Shrug, i dunno if this makes sense or not.
LikeLike
Hmmm…thinking, thinking, thinking…i thought ‘nilla was making a comment about you and your nature (not him, or his nature). SR expects control, has a lot of it, but it basically happens via her saying something once and me doing it until it just becomes how we live. i don’t know if she would bother to do anything if i stopped what i do, and i’m not sure how much control one actually has if they are unwilling to do any work to keep it. i do think there is a difference between caring and submission, but i also think that some of us are just wired to show care through service/submission/following. You do make sense, yes-but i’m not sure this does. 🙂
LikeLike
I’ve lost all submission. I recognize what you spoke of, the difference between submission/service and affection and caring. I mourn, I won’t say the loss of but rather the hibernation of the submissive in me. One of two things will happen. Emotional Spring will come and my submissiveness wakes or stays dormant, frozen and immobile in the permafrost. Either way this is liminal time for me, both in between ways of being and my changing sensory threshold. Time to do other things. Am I sad? Yes.
LikeLike
Yes. “Hibernation” is the right word for what happens to the submissive – at least for me too. I’m not sure this is liminal time for me though, this may be my new normal. Sigh.
i guess it’s ok to just be sad.
❤
LikeLike
p.s. Here’s one for you. It speaks to me, the insomniac monkey.
“The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep. You must ask for what you really want. Don’t go back to sleep.” – Rumi
LikeLike
Ah, i like that a lot. Thank you.
LikeLike