I’m making a new committment to my health!
Yes, I’m pretty sure I did this last year, right about the same time of year too. I know it was around November because when I invited other people to do it too, they were like, ”Um, it’s the holidays. No, maybe in January.” Which was a good point.
And I did it at some time in 2018… and again in 2019… and then just a few months ago with Noom. Sigh…
At some point when I was doing FFF with Fondles, someone actually commented that they didn’t know why I was torturing myself reporting in every week when nothing was really changing. (Maybe not exactly in those words.) But, lol, he was absolutely right. Lots of angst for nothing.
And yet. Here I am again.
But wait, you say. What about Noom? You were all about Noom, just a few months ago. Mmmhmm. That’s correct. I liked Noom because you got approval when you did well. And that motivated me for quite a while – you know, the “good girl” thing. Here’s the problem.
I didn’t actually know any of the Noom people. And I didn’t really feel connected with them. Sure they were always trying to tell me that whatever I was doing was ok, but I knew that was a motivational interviewing tactic and I knew that binge eating pretzels or Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Chunk cookies was not good and didn’t lead to good health.
Soooo. After a while…
I started not logging all my food. I logged the three healthy meals/day and a couple of healthy snacks. But those extras – the onion dip or ice cream bars – I just omitted those.
And I quit doing the lessons, because I didn’t like doing them on my phone. And I didn’t want to think about it anymore. Yep.
And I quit paying attention to my steps because their app wouldn’t link correctly to my fitbit so the count wasn’t accurate unless I did a manual update on the Health app which would link with them and let me update and… I just lost interest. Plus I wasn’t walking that much. Sigh. Are you bored yet?
But…
I have two or three new insights and resources.
One – this doctor shit is getting real. I have skated though life like the rules didn’t apply to me. NOW is the time to acknowledge that they do. If I don’t get it together now, I am going to end up with who-knows what health issues and spending way more time in medical facilities than I want to. I need to quit acting like that’s not a thing that applies to me.
Two – I was trying to figure out what I would lose (other than pounds and inches) if I got healthy. Ate healthy, did healthy exercise, all that. What would be bad about that? Well. I secretly believe that the kind of people who do all that healthy stuff are sanctimonious (like doctors) and mean. I certainly don’t want to be that person!! But I’ve decided I can get healthy and I don’t have to become like that. I can still be the same cool person who used to scoff at seat belts (true story) and smoke cigarettes.
Three – look at this!! I bought a rebounder. Yes, it’s a mini trampoline. With a handle to hold on to. Ok, I won’t be jumping like the person in the picture, and I’m pretty sure I can’t do splits. But still. It’s arriving next week!!! I am super excited.
So I’ll be doing posts on bouncing. Rebounding. Whatever. And maybe have some other adventures. And probably talk about my unnatural reluctance to do things that are good for me. And some kinky stuff too.
Olivia 
Following all these healthy eating, exercise, positive attitude etc., ad nauseum is intimidating Realistically speaking, knowing the real choice is between a decent quality of life and deterioration is what the alternatives are.
I just got back to the Weight Watchers program, which I enjoy when I am fully engaged. I have to remind myself that my mother could not eat her way out of depression. Every. Damn. Day.
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Thanks, David, I think these are wise words:
“knowing the real choice is between a decent quality of life and deterioration is what the alternatives are.” I’ve lived my life as if that doesn’t apply to me (to some extent.) It’s time to get with the program.
I’m glad that Weight Watchers can be enjoyable for you! It’s too bad we can’t eat our way out of depression. Sigh…
💜
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You know I feel your struggle. And sometimes it’s easier to embrace the cookies than to feel the disappointment when you eat the cookies when you are trying to do better. My only advice is:
– only you can motivate you. When something finally clicks about why you really want it, or when external stresses miraculously abate and you no longer “need” your bad habits, you will find it easier.
2. If you don’t have big motivations— like the doctor telling me I had to eat healthy and low sugar during pregnancy or my gestational diabetes would make my baby gain weight and babies gain weight in the shoulders and that baby was coming out my vagina so… or knowing I need to lose weight and get healthier so my dexterity and mobility doesn’t decline more (which the threat of that makes me want to confort eat)— I find small goals are best. Make them easy wins at first so you can build on success instead
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Thanks for those wise words, Angel! I think everything you say is true. But you know me, I don’t do well with goals. Or – I don’t know how to explain what I’m thinking. Tracking goals makes me look for loopholes? I think what I want to do now is focus on what I’m doing and not where I’m going. If that even makes sense. We’ll see.
💜 Thank you for the support!!
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That is a necessary step in the journey. Focus, as you put it
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💜
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Hi Olivia,
There are so many healthy eating plans and fitness regimes out there it’s simply mind boggling. Plus, they keep changing their minds on what one should and shouldn’t eat and what’s good for you. Personally I mostly ignore it all lol
I do tend to obsess about my weight and since working from home again have become obsessed again with doing crunches and doing some damage to my tail bone and back in the process. Exercise isn’t always good for you lol. Well, I guess if you do them correctly lol
Hugs
Roz
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Hi, Roz – OMG, you are so right. A million plans and all kinds of different advice. I hate that you hurt yourself exercising. That seems so unfair. I heal you heal quickly. 💜
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This looks like a lot of fun! Can’t wait to read about it 🙂
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It does look like fun, doesn’t it? I’m gonna be super disappointed if it isn’t! We’ll see… Thanks for sharing the enthusiasm. 💜
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I so want to hear more about that bouncing rebounding that you’re going to be doing. Also, i drink coffee with chocolate milk. I eat chips almost daily. I indulge in the occasional waffle (once a month maybe?) and I smoke.
And I was also the host of FFF so you know, it’s not like you gotta be all or nothing. Some. I believe in the SOME school of thought. Some heathy habits are better than NO healthy habits. I don’t eat rice and bread and noodles SO that i can eat my waffles and chips and what not.
And what if i were to eat the rice and noodles and bread? I would STILL eat the waffles and chips and what not. So um, ok, i’ll skip SOME of the bad stuff and carry on eating the ones I will die without.
Seriously tho, chronic diseases / conditions / illnesses are shitty. Keep them away as long as you can. If it means an extra cup of water, one less slice of bread, or just sweeping the floor twice a day instead of once, do it. Small steps (no pun intended) help in the long run.
I love you. And you love you too.
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Hi, Fondles!
I love your approach to this (and kind of love that you smoke.) I agree with what you’re saying totally – except somehow, it’s not working for me. I am already into the chronic health conditions realm. I need to change my tactics. I need to do more of what I did that led to not smoking anymore.
And I’m sure I’ll have plenty to say about my rebounder! Can’t wait for it to get here… 💜
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