You know, I might have said this here before. Because my life spirals round and round, I find myself in almost the same spots over and over again. For example, there’s a meme going around FB that I keep starting to comment on or repost and disagree with. I had my commentary all prepared in my head when a post came up in my FB memories from 2 years ago. It was the exact same meme, and my post disagreeing with it. My disagreement was a little different, what I would say now has a bit different flavor, but basically the same.
So I may have said I was on strike and taken this particular stance before. But if I said it, I didn’t stick with it. So I’m recommitting to my plan.
These other adults I live with – MP and my adult daughter – have a habit of stating a need and waiting for me to respond by meeting the need. For my daughter, it’s things like, “I’ve got an appointment for this thing on Wednesday, but I just realized the kids need to go to that thing at the same time.”
MP might look at the dirty bowl and coffee cup on the table and say, “Those need to go out to the kitchen.” As if he were just sharing that information. Which makes me think, Yes, yes they do, and let’s hope they walk themselves out there soon!
But you already know what I do. I say, “Let me look at my calendar, maybe I can take the kids to the thing.” Or I say, “Here, I’ll ge them,” as I carry the dishes to the sink.
I don’t mind doing the thing. I resent not being asked to do it. All they have to do is ask. “Mom, I’m double booked, could you take the kids…” rather than “I don’t know what to do…” Or “Would you take these to the kitchen for me, please?”
Last night, I told them each of them that I was not just stepping up to meet their need unless they asked. They both thought that was reasonable and promised to do better. We’ll see how this goes.