I may have mentioned before that I have an hitachi magic wand that MP gave me a few years ago. Since he and I don’t play anymore, it’s been my go-to for basic maintenance. I am not a creative self-pleasurer, I tend to be a “wham-bam – now go to sleep” kind of girl. The hitachi works perfectly for that.
Ok, truth be told, I read some spanking stories before I go to bed if I’m planning on some orgasmic release, but that’s just to get the ball started rolling. Or the juices flowing, whatever…
Anyhow, the other day, I was putting the wand away when I discovered the cord was frayed. I mean, about an inch of it had exposed wires. So I remembered to order some electrical tape from the grocery and patched it up and that might have been the end of the story, but…
Earlier that week, my daughter had trouble unplugging a cord and somehow touched the prongs – at least that’s what we think happened. She got a pretty big shock from it. Big enough that her whole arm and side were tingling afterwords and her head hurt, leading us to consult WebMD, MP’s daughter, the nurse, and finally the on-call doctor at her doctor’s office. As it turns out, she’s fine, although she had a headache on one side of her head all day the next day.
But you can imagine, once I had carefully taped up the cord, I had this mental image of the same thing happening to me, only the injury being, you know, right there on my most sensitive parts. And while I may have once experienced the stimulation of a violet wand, I was not a big fan of it.
Now imagine me playing quietly under the sheets and suddenly screaming with pain. I mean, worst case scenario, it electrocutes me and I die, and how embarrassing would that be for my family? “What happened to Granma?” “Oh, she was playing with her Hitachi and it shocked her to death.” Imagine having to put that under Family History on all the medical forms my grand kids have to fill out for the rest of their lives. No. Not an option.
Yes, I know cords can be fixed and replaced and all that. But I don’t trust myself to do it, and won’t ask MP to. So what’s a girl to do? I could get by without anything, but that seems so boring and mundane.
Ok, clearly, I have to buy something. But what? Not another magic wand. Lovely though it is, it requires a lot of cords and it’s not easy to travel with. I’d been thinking I needed a vibrating dildo. That is probably my favorite type of toy. It’s the first toy I got – one of the first kinky men I knew gave it to me, and I still gravitate to that. The ones I’ve had have been locked up in MP’s toy bag for years and it will be a cold day in hell before I’ll ask for them again.
So do I buy one to be delivered? Or is it time for (drum roll) a trip to the toy store?
Yes! A trip to the toy store, the day before Valentine’s Day, seems just right! I had to venture out of my social isolation to get the family Valentine’s Day presents anyhow. There’s a toy store – excuse me, “Novelty” story – about a 5 minute drive away. Walgreen’s – toy store, no one would notice I was gone a long time.
Unlike other trips to an adult themed stored, I didn’t change clothes or anything. I had just the tiniest twinge of nerves as I entered the store, and seeing all the goodies around just made me smile. I knew what I wanted, and went straight to the right spot in the store. I had already looked at their goodies on line and had pretty much decided I was going for the cheapest one, but the nice clerk pointed out a couple of others for my consideration. And there I stood, poised in uncertainty. Which one did I want? The 8 inch one in the medium price range that you could bend to the form you wanted? The 6 inch most expensive one that promised skin that felt real? Or the cheap one that would clearly feel plastic and had no special features?
I guess I might have stood there forever, but the clerk came back to rescue me. “Want to see what they feel like?” she asked. Oh. Yes. Yes, I do.
After that, it was a no-brainer. The realistic feeling one was the clear winner. Even though it was the most expensive. Then I had to buy cleaner and some special stuff to keep it feeling realistic. It’s a Doc Johnson – and oh, shit, I paid way too much for it. I just saw it on Amazon. Sigh… I guess the trip to the store and the help of a clerk made it all worthwhile. And for sure, I’ll get my money’s worth of orgasms out of it.
Hence the title, “Happy Valentine’s Day (to me.)” And to you. What are you up to this lovely day?