Fetlife Funnies

Mean Girl Warning: In this post, I’m going to laugh at some random “older white dominant silver fox.” Yes, I’m the mean girl here…*

And yes, he really said that. His message starts out:

“I’m an older white dominant silver fox. Yes I have a full head of silver grey hair. For the last 4 years I played with my sub and trained her to serve me. Things we enjoyed were anal sex, butt plugs, nipple clamps, hot wax, hair pulling, pinwheels, flogging, whipping, caning, edging, outdoor play, ball gags, collar, leash, kneeling, handcuffs, rope bondage, blindfolds, slapping, discipline, clothing requirements, public flashing, all types of toys, oral sex and giving her body to me anytime I wanted.

Who could resist that? A laundry list of good times for all… He goes on to assure me:

But there was also lots of after care, cuddles, tender kisses, pussy worship, gentle touches, sweet whispers and she was treated like a treasure. I am a Dominant, I’m not domineering. There’s a huge difference.

Whew. So glad he said that he gets the difference. Otherwise I might have thought he didn’t have a clue.

Unfortunately she had to move away recently and I’m now searching for someone who could receive all the same type of attention.

Ok. Replace-a-sub. It reminds me of a Saturday Night Live episode many years ago where the skit describes a service where they offer New Dad in case something happens to the family Dad. One sub gone? No worries. Get a new one you can do all the same things with. He goes on to say:

More about me,

Like this entire thing hasn’t already been all about him…

I’m very well educated, former professional athlete, business owner, age 65, 6’2”, 200 pounds and been told well endowed. I love long intelligent conversation and want daily interaction. I’m honest, forthcoming, sarcastic and demanding yet tender. Anything else you want to know just ask.

Long intelligent conversation? Seems unlikely.

Sigh… There are so many things wrong with this message, it’s hard to know where to start. I could mention the picture he has on his profile – a body shot wearing shorts and flops. If the person in that picture is 65, then I’m 35. But I think at the heart of the problem is the complete lack of attention to the person he’s talking to. It’s like spam. Hell, maybe it is spam. It’s certainly not designed to make any kind of connection with me.

I started out laughing about this clueless fool, but ultimately it’s sad. This is not how D/s works. Not at all. It’s like the difference between a person and a mannequin. The difference between a dildo and a real life cock. Not the same…

Yes, I answered him, and was nice enough. I did point out the middle of a pandemic was probably not the best time to be looking for new play partners. I noted that he was apparently new to fetlife and might want to join some local groups. I wished him the best of luck. Sigh. It left me feeling – some kind of way. I don’t even know…

* Please note that my fetlife profile does NOT connect with this blog so there’s less than a .001% chance that he’ll see this.

6 thoughts on “Fetlife Funnies

  1. Hello Mean Girl,
    I’m with you! Something fishy about that whole post. Sure looked promising to begin with though. Do guys really think you won’t notice when they absolutely do not resemble their description at all?
    Amy
    PS – You’re not a mean girl. You’re smart and REALISTIC.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Amy! I am pretty realistic, that’s true. And yeah, that picture was laughable. And it is too bad, cause I was interested for a second, til I started thinking. Sigh… 💜

      Like

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