Finding My Balance

It is only Day Three of this new life. Way too soon to know what I’m doing or what it’s going to be like. It will take more than three days to adapt and settle into some comfort. The kids and I will settle into a routine. It won’t be easy, but we’ll figure it out. I’ll find a way to get a bit of breathing room. It’ll be ok. We’ll figure it out.

***************

She didn’t expect him to come around the corner just then, didn’t expect him to find her crying. She tried to stop, tried to wipe the tears away quickly.

His hand on her chin, he tilted her face up to him, wiped the last of the tears with his other hand. “What is it?” he asked.

She shook her head, “It’s nothing, it’s stupid.” Watching his eyebrows go up, she regretted her response. She tried to back-pedal. “I mean, not stupid, that’s not what I meant.”

He laughed, “Oh, good! That’s a relief, I would hate to have to spank your ass on Day Three of the Apocalypse! So you didn’t mean stupid, what did you mean? And what’s bringing on the tears?”

She bit her lip. “It’s just, I was just thinking about all the things I miss, all the things I’m going to miss, and I was thinking how many things may be gone forever. A lot of it’s not even important, just little things I loved.” And much to her dismay, tears spilled over again and she sobbed.

He wrapped his arms around her. “Tell me about it,” he said.

“The cafe,” she sniffed, “that’s what got me started, I was thinking about not being able to go to the cafe til who-knows-when, and I just got this rush of sadness. Then I was telling myself, well, it’s ok cause it won’t be forever, this will be over at some point and -” she broke out in fresh sobbing. He stroked her hair, just holding her, and she leaned into him a bit more. She felt like her body was joining with him.

In a minute, her sobbing let up and she said, “But then I realized that might not be true. I mean, this will be over someday, I do believe that. But that cafe, my cafe, might not survive. Who knows what’s going to happen?” And one more sob slipped out.

And still he just held her. Waiting.

“But THEN,” she said, “I felt terrible because here I am crying about me missing the cafe and how selfish is that when people are going to DIE from this virus.” She sighed, shook her head. “I guess it was just a big ole pity party.”

“Was it?” he asked.

“Well. Yeah.” She looked up at him. He didn’t look upset at all, he looked – well, he looked kind. She almost started crying again. “I don’t know,” she said. “It feels like I was selfish.”

“Are you human?” he said. She nodded, her face buried in his shirt again.

“Do humans have feelings?” He sounded so serious it made her smile.

“Yes, yes, they do,” she said.

“So why would you not have feelings? And why would your feelings not matter as much as anyones? You love going to that cafe. Of course you’re going to miss it. And you’re right, we don’t know the end of this story, we don’t know what will happen. Of course thinking about that makes you sad.”

‘Mmmm.” She snuggled into him closer, feeling loved and understood. She stood there a while, and then –

His hand fisted in her hair, wrapped around it at the nape of her neck, tilting her head up. He was smiling, she smiled in response.

“So when I spank you,” he said, “It won’t be for feeling sad or for being selfish. It won’t even be because you said your feelings were stupid.”

“No?” she said. “Then what will it be for?”

“It will be for not remembering that you’re just another human with feelings, and they matter. That’s what I’m going to spank you for.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Go on upstairs,” he said. “Take all your clothes off. Wash your hands. And get comfy on the bed, ass up, and wait for me. I think we’ll put the plug in tonight. I want you to have lots of feelings.” He grinned, that diabolical grin she loved. “I want you to remember,” he said, “that some things feel good,” and he stroked the left nipple with his thumb, feeling it harden immediately. A little moan escaped her, almost a purr.

He smiled, “Some things feel good, and some things hurt.” He pinched the nipple as he said that last part, hard enough to make her cry out, even though she had been expecting it. He slid his thumb into her mouth, and she whimpered at the tender sensuality of his thumb on her tongue, beginning to suck and lick the way he liked. This time, he was the one with little moans of pleasure.

“Maybe,” he said, “I’ll fuck your ass, and maybe I’ll let you suck my cock. We’ll see. But I’ll start with the belt, because I know that’s a pain you love. Right, baby?”

“Ohhhhh,” she hated to quit sucking his thumb, but “Yes, Sir,” she said, not very clearly cause the thumb was still in her mouth. She did love the belt, and she shivered in anticipation.

“And when we’ve explored all those pains and pleasures, maybe I’ll let you cum too. We’ll see. But the lesson tonight is about letting yourself feel all the feelings. Now,” and he pulled his thumb out of her mouth, turned her away from him. “Off to bed with you. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Yes, Sir,” she said, happily heading up the stairs.

9 thoughts on “Finding My Balance

  1. Oh I love this Olivia. I know I said before I love how you built a hot, kinky story around the current scary circumstances. Good therapy for us all 🙂

    Hugs
    Roz

    Liked by 1 person

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