No, wait, hear me out. I might be. Not in a harsh, mean way, just in a gentle affectionate way. Here’s the thing.

I was sitting at the table right after dinner when it occured to me that I didn’t feel great. A bit light-headed. Arms and legs felt a bit achy. Just a bit of a headache.

I ignored it cause that’s what I do with physical aches and pains. As long as it’s not severe, I just ignore it and figure it will either go away or get worse. Only this didn’t do either. It’s just hung around – bit of a headache, bit achy, tired, and then I started feeling really cold.

It’s not that cold here. But I was just chilled. Turned on my little heater. Then I felt hot, too hot. But my hands were cold.

You with me here? It’s getting harder to ignore. So I think, “Hmmmm, ” I almost feel like I’m coming down with something. Couldn’t be. I’ve been fine up til now. Haven’t been around anyone sick.”

So I brushed it off. But as you’ve guessed, it did not go away. “What the f~~k?” I thought. “How could…” and then I had a thought. Just a flash of a thought, and I laughed dismissively even as I thought it.

“You did have your shingles vaccine today,” I thought.

And I laughed. Silly idea. Vaccines don’t make you sick. I KNOW this. I know nurses, and they’ve told me. Friends have told me. No Way that’s what it is.

So I googled. And immediately found this:

How safe is Shingrix?

“So far so good,” Schaffner says. The main side effect is soreness in the arm where you get the shot.

Other side effects are mild and usually last for 2 to 3 days, including:

• Redness
• Swelling
• Tiredness
• Muscle pain
• Headache
• Chills
• Fever
• Stomach pain
• Nausea

And the side effects last 2 to 3 days?? Y’all. I have NO time for this shit.

Now, none of that would make me a dumbass. Here’s the dumbassery part. MP is practically an extremist about not trusting doctors. Or medicine. Granted, he has good reason for that. But if I tell him I’m not feeling good, the FIRST thing he’ll say is, “Oh, hmmm, you got that shingles shot today, didn’t you?”

And my daughter is super-invested in health and knowing what you’re eating and what you’re putting in your body when it comes to medicine of any kind. So you already know that if she were going to get a shingles vaccine, she would have googled it weeks ahead of time and would be able to tell you the exact percentage of likelihood that you would get each one of the side effects. (Ok, I might be exaggerating a tad, but not much!)

Whereas I hardly every worry about it. I’m reasonably cautious (by my standards) but mostly I can do all the things and take all the meds without ill effect. They don’t “tear my stomach up,” (that’s MP) and I mostly don’t worry that they’re carcinogenic. (I smoked for 40 years.) But now that blithe disregard has caught up with me.

Somewhere, there is a side effects demon who’s laughing and calling his buddies over to watch me stumble around going “But I just don’t feel good.” “At last,” he says, with a triumphant screech, “We got her this time!

So you can see why I feel like a dumbass. Just saying…

{PS, yes, I would still have gotten the shot, I just would have tried to time it when I didn’t have important things to do. Besides, I’m not completely convinced that’s what is happening. I’m pretty sure if I go to bed now, this will just go away.}

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