I know that I’m not alone in the belief that a good, strong Dom holds his submissive accountable in ways that we don’t do for ourselves. The belief that with the help of that Dom, we would thrive and finally level up in the game of life. And if I had thought I was alone in that conviction, Monkey’s comment on my post yesterday was a good reminder that I’m not.
So I had this brilliant flash of an idea today, during a meeting. We were talking about self-compassion and why people might not want to have compassion for themselves. And I realized (in the way you do when you already know something but haven’t thought about it in quite this way) I realized that maybe we don’t actually want to have self-compassion for ourselves, because then, we might have to change something. And really, who wants to do that?
If you have compassion for yourself, you might realize that your family is treating you like crap and you don’t deserve it. Then you can either live with that knowledge or you can set boundaries and enforce them, which might lead to them being mad at you, or even leaving, and you picture yourself old and desolate, dying alone. And who wants to take a chance on that? Practically nobody. How much easier to just try to figure out what you’re doing wrong that “makes” the family treat you like crap.
In the same way, if I motivate myself to do my marketing stuff, I might fail. And even though I can, in theory, totally live with that, in real life, I would – well, I guess I would rather actually fail for lack of trying than take that chance. If that makes any sense. Which it doesn’t, but still.
Then I realized, also not for the first time, but still – when I get mad at myself for not doing more, I can take it to some extreme of “I’m stupid, I never do anything,” kind of crap, and then I can realize that’s extreme and calm and soothe myself for a while, until some new event makes me take it to the extreme again. Then I repeat the cycle. That is pure drama triangle, and I can do that all day long. And not accomplish One Single Thing. Nice, right?
So I was thinking about that, and feeling totally sure that I’m the only one out here doing this, and THEN I had my idea. It was – if you remember the movie The Trouble with Angels – it was an idea worthy of Haley Mills, scathingly brilliant.
We should start a club for submissives who would benefit from a strong, Domly hand. No, there wouldn’t be an actual Dom overseeing group activities. (For the record, I do not actually want to wear nipple clamps and try to write a story.) But we could pull together and work on holding each other accountable. AND (here’s the best part) ~~~~~~~
We could call ourselves Domless Dames. Or Dames without a Dom. Although, that genders us, which is not my goal. Male submissives could join too. And trans submissives. So maybe – Submissive Slackers? Or – what do you think? What should we name ourselves?
As is often the case with me, I’m totally just kidding – unless someone wants to do it, in which case I’m all in.