It was cold and windy and I only had about 5 minutes on the pier. (Ok, cold is like 55 degrees. Not actually freezing or anything.)
It always puts things back in perspective for me. I had been feeling a bit grumpy yesterday. A musician I love is going to be here in February and I want to go. But I know that MP doesn’t care for this music, and neither does my daughter, for that matter. MP probably would have come with me, but when I mentioned it to him, he said he was going to be out of town that day. (Lol, apparently it’s right after Super Bowl weekend. Who knew?)
Anyhow, I decided “screw it, I’m going.” So I bought myself a ticket as a birthday present. Then I was a bit blues’d out because somehow I’ve built a life for myself that doesn’t include having anyone to even invite to this concert other than MP and my daughter. I mean – I didn’t even want MP to go, cause going to a concert with someone who’s just there to accommodate you isn’t really as much fun as you might think. But it just made me feel a bit lonesome.
A country music kind of lonely, if you know what I mean. Singing those lonesome blues.
Yes, that’s Willie Nelson, singing Blue Eyes in the Rain. And no, I’m not mourning a lost love. I guess I was mourning some other life I might have had. You know, if I’d made different choices.
But then I decided I might as well shake it off. This is, after all, the life I built, and it has redeeming qualities. For example – the ocean is right here, just 30 minutes away.
can calm itself,
so can you.
― Nayyirah Waheed