Yesterday was another lovely day, a big part of the day spent exploring the island I was on with my daughter and the grands. That’s just a treat all by itself.

But I was thinking about my career path (if you can call it that, feels like a career dead-end at the moment, but hopefully, it’s not.) Anyhow, I was feeling a bit down about my lack of financial security – although I don’t have anything to complain about. All my needs are met right now, and always have been to one extent or another.

But I had such a lovely time on retreat, and I thought, you know, if I were truly retired, it could (theoretically) be like this all the time. Lots of communing with nature. Getting exercise. Writing when I wanted to. It felt like a pretty good life.

So I was thinking about how I would probably never actually be able to not work. That just like people predicted when I was younger, what I get from retirement is not going to cover my cost of living. Even combined with MP’s retirement. Unless we move somewhere the dollar is at a huge advantage – which is what we might end up doing.

Anyhow. I was thinking about what I could have done differently that would have enabled me to retire with enough to live on. I could have pursued a more lucrative career path early on. All those years of restaurant work didn’t pay off financially in the long run.

I almost became a lawyer! If I’d pursued that career path, I might have made a bundle and be sitting pretty right now. But I didn’t and I’m not.

Maybe if I had been more frugal – about lots of things. Pinched my pennies a bit harder.

NOT to imply that there’s anything wrong with being frugal or taking care of your own best interests financially. There is not. So if you’re moving into retirement secure and content, I’m glad for you.

But I don’t know what I would have been willing to change to make my life turn out different. You know? And it’s not over yet, so that’s good. I could still win the lottery, right?