As you can imagine, my regular routine was disrupted by a day of dental surgery and recovery, but I’m feeling surprisingly good. Here’s the data:

• Step count avg = 5,512; range 962 to 9,000. Actually, I had two days around 9,000, so that was good.
• Weight 164.8
• Sleep avg = 7 hrs, 9 minutes That’s high for me!
• Glucose range 133 – 154 Which is kind of terrible. But I’ve had two days of no chewing food and you know what that looks like, right? Mashed potatoes, smoothies, ice cream, yogurt and so on. None of that is low carb. I’m on soft food now and it should be getting better.

I’ve had very little pain after the surgery which is fabulous and I’m really delighted that I can leave on my retreat today and enjoy it. I’m planning to do lots of walking and reading and listening to videos and podcast and writing and planning. And do it in silence. Or with music of my choice.

I want to confide in youall one thing that is bothering me. You know, I spent a small fortune on these implants and gave up a full day of my life so I would have real teeth. And as I got to feeling better last night, I began to wonder if it was going to be worth it, if they looked ok And it occurred to me that neither MP nor my daughter had made any comment about it. So I began to worry just a little bit.

I kept going in the bathroom and smiling at myself. (Quit laughing, you would have done it too.) I thought they looked ok. But they do look a little bit different. What if they didn’t look ok? What if neither of them had commented because they looked funny or looked wrong?

So finally I went to MP and interrupted his TV show or the news or whatever he had on. He watches all the time so it wasn’t even rude. If you want to talk to him, you pretty much have to interrupt. But I said, “Hey, MP, do my teeth look ok?” And he turned around and I smiled and he looked at me. Then he said, “Yeah, they look ok,” and turned back to the TV.

So I went to my daughter, and did the same thing, I asked her the same thing. And she said, “Yeah. Yeah they look ok,” like she was surprised I asked.

So that was that and you know, I guess they look ok. But I kept thinking about it – not my teeth so much as their responses. I realized today that it hurt my feelings that they didn’t volunteer a comment and that their lackluster responses when I did ask also hurt my feelings a lot.

I’m not mad at them, but I’m hurt. They’ve been here as I’ve gone through this whole miserable teeth saga, with the flipper that kept breaking and not being able to eat with it in and all of that for months now. But I haven’t complained about it much, hardly ever in fact, so maybe they don’t know how hard it’s been? Or how important this is to me? Or maybe they just don’t see me?

Well. I’m not actually trying to have a little pity party over here. Or maybe I am. You know:

It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To, by Leslie Gore…

It’s not really important, and if it is, I guess I should say something to them about it. But I won’t. They’re caught up in their own stuff. And I have new frigging teeth and that’s amazing and wonderful. It doesn’t really matter.

And that song got me playing a bunch of other music that I haven’t heard in a long time – Brown-Eyed Girl, Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog (Joy to the World), Maggie Mae, and Night Moves, to name a few. So life is good and today I start my retreat.