Ancilla ksst asked:
Are you married? Nope. Been married twice – once for 17 years, once for 3. Can’t imagine ever doing that again.
Do you have a D/s relationship? I got the impression that it ended, is that right? But are you still together or single? How long did the D/s relationship last? I did have a D/s relationship – it started about 6 years ago and lasted maybe 2 years, maybe a little bit longer. I had a different blog then, and started this one when I had totally accepted that he and I were not going to have a D/s element to our relationship again. We are still in a relationship – we live together and are very fond of each other, but it won’t ever be what it was or what I once thought it was going to be.
What did you like and not like about it? I liked the feeling of being able to serve him and please him. Even in the beginning, he wasn’t very demanding, but making sure the things I did were what he liked. Of course, the spankings and rope and some nipple clamps and cock worship and feeling available…
I didn’t like when he would say he was going to do things and not follow through, or when we kept going longer and longer without playing. I didn’t like it when it seemed like he wasn’t aware of my reactions – not in a purposeful way, not like, “I’m going to do this because I want to, girl!” kind of way. Just like – he wasn’t really enjoying it and he wasn’t paying attention to whether I was or not but just assuming I was.
I secretly think that I did something wrong that made us lose the D/s aspect of our relationship, but I don’t know what. That somehow it was because I wasn’t good enough. And I also know that’s probably not true, it probably wasn’t anything I did or didn’t do. That it wasn’t because I wasn’t “worthy.”
Have you had other D/s relationships? I have had other D/s relationships!
Have you ever thought of yourself as a slave? I used to sometimes, yes. I used to sometimes think I had the heart of a slave and wanted to have a Master. That seems so far away that I can just barely even remember what it felt like. I don’t even guess it’s true anymore. I’m not even sure I want a whole D/s relationship anymore, maybe I just want to play. But yeah, I have thought that before.
Thanks so much for asking!!